Tuesday, February 10, 2009

It's the small things

Yesterday I went up to Portland to visit my sister and nephew. My sister had to run some errands and one involved seriously complicated directions so I went with her instead of staying at home with Ryan. After our first errand was completed (picking up Ryan's new motorbike in North Portland!) we headed to Emanuel hospital so my sister could pick up some of Ryan's records.

The motorbike didn't fit perfectly, the gate was ajar a little bit, so my sister wanted me to stay in the car and wait for her. Ryan and I played 'camera' and chatted about life and his new bike. He still has at least a year before he can ride it but he likes to touch the wheel and say biiiiiike.

The records my sister needed cost around $50.00 and she forgot her checkbook at home so I had to write one for her. Once we were done at Emanuel we headed to the bank so my sister could pay me back. While she ran into the bank Ryan and I once again guarded the bike.

I was sitting up front, listening to the radio my sister had left on and thinking about all the housework we still needed to do when we returned home. From the backseat Ryan said "Annee" (he still has a hard time with the g) so I turned around to see what he needed. He was leaning forward in his car seat and holding his hand out. I reached back and my fingers in his palm. He wrapped his hand around my fingers and started caressing my palm with his thumb. I have no idea what was going through his mind as we sat there listening to the radio and holding hands. It was such a simple moment, it lasted for about a minute, but I don't think I will ever forget how calm and at peace I felt.

It's hard for me to believe Ryan will be 3 in September. Soon he won't want to hold his Annee's hand; he'll be too busy with his own independent life. I love that little boy so much; I cannot fathom how much I will care for my own children. Every moment we have with Ryan is precious and I think we are more aware of the hours we spend with him because of his cancer. I cherish each second we have together, but I will remember holding hands with him in my sister's car while a soft song played on the radio forever.

1 comment:

thank you!

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