Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Lost & Found

There's a book titled Little Bee I really want to read right now. It's in the book store in hardcover and it's selling pretty well. I know an advanced copy came in before this book was published. I know I read what it was about and I thought I put it back in the box and decided to pass because I wasn't in the mood for something so serious. Now it's getting great reviews, people are recommending it, I want to read it and I can't find it. I searched the staff room at the store, I looked next to my desk, and I looked all over my house. Sometimes I take advanced copies home without even realizing it. It's like a compulsion.

I also have this strange little book hiding habit. It's not intentional, nor do I realize I am doing it most of the time. I just tend to put books in what I consider a safe space and then wonder why I can't find them. There are a number of books I know I saw the advanced copy for, I remember holding them in my hand, and yet when I want to read them I can't find them again. Have I been hiding books from myself this whole time? I don't think so, but anything is possible with me.

A couple weeks ago my husband and I started working on our spring cleaning list. I found books in the strangest places all over the house. He found a couple titles in the basement and garage. I'm a little surprised at how many books I found stashed away considering we've only lived in this house since late September. I have a really bad habit of pulling books off my bookshelves, thinking "I'll read this soon, I'm going to put it next to the bed, or on the 'read soon' shelf." (Yes, I really do have a read soon shelf). However, these books rarely make it to their destination. Instead I get distracted and put them in the hall cupboard with the towels, or I set them down in the second bedroom when I go in to get a sweater, or I leave them upstairs and they get pushed underneath the couch. Trust me, it's not intentional. As a matter of fact, I think it's one of my more annoying habits.

I also have a bit of an issue with the quantity of books in my house. I really need another bookshelf, but Jonathan wants to build it and that is not on the priority list right now. So I've resorted to stacking books in various places around the house. But when company comes over I feel compelled to clean up those piles so I end up shoving books into closets and under beds and in other random places.

Last week my parents were coming over. Right before they were due to arrive I realized I had a couple Charlaine Harris books lying around. Harris writes a series of vampire books which I am embarrassed to admit that I read. I was worried my parents would see the books lying around and would know I was reading a vampire book with a bit of sex in it. What good vampire novel doesn't have sex?? So I panicked and I shoved the books into a wicker basket on the top of one of my bookshelves. Yes, I am 25 and they probably wouldn't have noticed, but old habits die hard.

This weekend Jonathan went to put some receipts in the basket (we use it as a catch-all for reciepts and other things that end up in the living room) and came up with the two books. "What the heck?" he asked me as he turned around, the books in his hands. "Oh, hey thanks, I've been looking for those. I want to take them to the store so we can sell them as used copies." Bless his heart, he handed them over without another word.

Now, if only I could find that advanced copy of Little Bee ...

Friday, March 13, 2009

This crazy, spinning Earth

Time seems to be speeding up these days. I can't believe it's already March 13th! This means my brother is 24 and April will be here before I'm ready.

On March 16th I have my biyearly check-up with my endocrinologist. Have I mentioned how much I love this man? He keeps me alive, and sane, I kid you not. During this appointment I am going to switch my medication. This is the first step, out of about one thousand, on the road to having a baby.

Or maybe this is the 2nd or 3rd step? My endo. and I have had this plan in place for at least 2 years, if not longer. Every time I go to his office he asks me about my family planning timeline. The first two times I wrung my hands and nearly cried. After that I was able to tell him I wasn't ready yet. And then during my last visit he forced me to talk about when I would be ready. He very kindly explained to me that I have to switch my medication and we need to know how I react to this switch long before I am pregnant. If my body reacts poorly I could become hyperthyroid and if I was pregnant when this occured, I would most likely miscarry. It's been strange to think about these things way before I am ready for them to happen, but at the same time, it's good to be prepared.

Even though I am determined not to tell people when we are going to start trying (such a weird concept/term, I have to say) I have been letting it slip that it is in the future. I am beginning to wonder if I shoud stop fighting the urge to tell everyone I meet that I am taking this HUGE first step. Whenever I do something I consider momentus I have to tell everyone I know, as well as some strangers, what is going on with me. It is a compulsive need and I'm not sure I can stop it now.

Side note: When did it become such a big deal to become pregnant?? Used to be women got married, got pregnant and lived their lives. Now there's baby registries, showers and all sorts of hullaballo when a woman gets pregnant / gives birth. I think somewhere along the line everyone forgot that this is a natural process. I'm not saying I don't like the choices that come along with birth control and the modern age; I just don't understand what all the fuss is about. Maybe I will when I'm pregnant???

And now back to where I started: in one year it will be March 13th 2010. My brother will turn 25, April will be right around the corner, and I could be pregnant.

I think I need to go breathe deeply into a paper bag now.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Victories

I've been feeling pretty good about what I've accomplished in my life lately. Most of these victories are superficial, or just plain stupid, but I'm still going to give myself a pat on the back.

- When I first started straightening my hair I had to focus and it took me at least 35 minutes. On Monday I straightened my hair, ate an English muffin and told my husband what laundry could be dried ALL AT ONCE. That's me multi-tasking at my best.

- My husband would be upset with me if he knew I was putting this up here, but he doesn't read this so it's all good. In the winter Jonathan gets dandruff and he's always used Head and Shoulders to control the problem. However, it doesn't work because it covers up the symptoms. This year I made him shampoo from essential oils and it's working!! Lately I have learned that the recommended treatment is not always the right treatment. This of course can apply to any and all aspects of my life.

- I have been working out and I've been enjoying it! I would like to lose 5, or 10 lbs, but just getting toned would be all right with me too.

- I sold my old car for $900.00!! I bought it 5 years ago for $2,000.00. The oil leaks, the air conditioning does not work and the check engine light has been on for at least a year. And yet, 3 hours after my husband posted the notice on CraigsList, we sold the car. I was so worried we would be stuck with it forever.

- Jonathan and I have decided when we are going to try to have children. This is a HUGE step for me, but now that I know we are going to try and when we are going to try I can relax. And just to be clear, trying is not going to happen NOW or in the near future.

Tomorrow we are doing Inventory at the store so I need to have a piece of peanut butter toast and go to bed. I realize eating peanut butter toast at 8:30 pm is not going to help me lost weight or get toned, but some nights it's necessary. I have to get up before 6:00 am tomorrow. In all honesty, I can't remember the last time I did that.

Enjoy the small, and large, victories in your own life!

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