I have issues with my body. What woman doesn't? Since Charlotte died these issues have exploded. I think if she were here I wouldn't feel so bad about how pregnancy has changed the shape of my body.
Last night a friend shared a link to this site. I thought about putting my story there, in the child loss section, anonymously. Then I decided: why not own the changes I've gone through in the past year? I'm really trying to love myself more, so why not practice what I've been preaching? I'm not going to post pictures of me naked - I'm pretty sure most of my family reads this blog and I don't think it's wise to prance about on the Internet naked - but here is my stomach in all its postpartum glory.
This is me ... 12 weeks pregnant and pushing my belly out because I really wanted to be showing.
This is me ... 3 months postpartum
It is what it is. I'm doing my best to love myself. Pin It
24 comments:
oh sweetie...you're beautiful.. I look the same way and you're right it makes it even harder cause our babies are gone...I am learning to love my new body as well...it helps too because my husband seems even more attracted to my new body...weird.
I think you look great for being 3 months post-partum, but I know not having a baby to show for it makes it that much more cruel. I know I've certainly dealt with body issues after 1.5 pregnancies. Pregnancy is not kind to our bodies. I especially hate this in between stage of not being pregnant, but wanting to get pregnant and in the mean time gaining weight. It is so frustrating.
kudos to you for having the balls to show your half nekkid self;)
after 4 pregnancies, and 3 children...me not so much. mother nature was not kind to me in the stretch mark department. what a bitch, ya' know?
give yourself time...rome wasn't built in a day is what "they" say.
but "they" are full of shit, too...so just try really really hard to embrace your beauty.
because you are beautiful.
love and kindness,
andrea
you look better than me, and i only got to 17 weeks of pregnancy 8.5 months ago.
sending hugs.
I had a huge squishy tummy after E's birth and finally decided that I looked like the ancient Venus of Willendorf and similar statues of women unearthed around the world - kind of a birth goddess look. May not be the most popular right now in our Hollywood-obsessed culture, but it was HOT for those ancient people because it indicated the power to become a mama like you. And you're beautiful!
I totally understand. Having the post-baby body with no baby to show for it is frustrating. I think I would also not be so concerned about it if I had my baby but without her my body is a constant reminder of what I went through. I'm nowhere near pre-baby weight and I've come to terms with it...sort of. I exercise to make myself feel better not to go back to my skinny body, because I know I am more able to face the world if I do my walk in the morning. I get very cranky when I don't do it no matter how terrible it is to get up early to walk. But that's about all I can handle. I threw myself into exercise classes after my daughter died and they took up time but that's about it. I'm not an exerciser.
It's good to focus on what makes you feel good and not what your body looks like. It very very slowly goes back to something recognizable.
You are GORGEOUS!!!
And geesh - perfect timing for you to bring this up. Just last night I journaled that I'm disappointed that no one tells me - "wow! You had a baby 10-11 months ago, you look GREAT!" I'm still a few pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, and I imagine if/when I lose those pounds, my body will still look different. My belly is saggier, and my butt is a little roomier. I also think if I had a living baby to show for it all, I wouldn't care as much (and that may or may not be true, I don't know...).
In the best of situations, accepting our new post-baby bodies is challenging in our culture. And we're not working on this in the best of circumstances.
You are BEAUTIFUL. Truly. And I appreciate your reminder to love our bodies as they ARE, and not to hate them for what we WISH they'd be.
I've been looking at my pregnancy photos lately and I wonder how was it that I could smile radiantly despite the bulging tummy riddled with hideous stretchmarks. Today, as I look at the mirror and see my now empty yet pudgy tummy still riddled with hideous stretchmarks, the radiant smile is gone. It has been replaced by a sad one. I agree with you that having a live baby would have been a consolation with this body. But like you said we have to own it and love it. And take good care of it nonetheless.
You have a tummy I'd have killed for before I ever got pregnant. I don't dare put mine on the internet - some major wiring would probably explode and the internet would end :)
I think you look beautiful.
Both before and after.
You are beautiful! It is so hard to accept our post-partum bodies when we don't have a living baby to show for it. Sometimes I look down and think I still look pregnant. Oh, how I wish.
I've read that it takes as long to lose it as it did to gain it. I use that as an excuse anyway :) I also tell myself that I'll be pregnant again soon, so why worry about losing the extra weight?
***I want you to know that you look wonderful for just having a baby 3 months ago. I would love for my tummy to be so small!!!***
I gained 70 pounds with my Natalie. I did have preeclampsia which made me gain about 30 pounds in the last month before she was born, but the other 40 was after we found out she would pass away...I call it my grief weight. I HATED it right after she died, because you are right...we have mommy tummies with no babies to show the world. I am proud of you for being active during your pregnancy and being active again now (that class you and Christi are taking sounds like fun!!). I pray that you don't feel pressure to try to look the way you did before Charlotte was born, but that you exercise because you want to and to be healthy. (PS...I still have yet to lose that weight 4 years later...life and grief get in the way sometimes. I'm working on it...hopefully I'll get to a healthier weight sometime soon!)
You are seriously my hero & you are so awesome for posting these pictures.
My body has totally transformed since my pregnancies. I have stretch marks in places I didn't know one could get stretch marks but I love my smooshy belly! *hugs*
p.s. I have that same tank top from Target ;o)
I think you look great. Your belly was Charlotte's home, and I bet she thought it was pretty great, too.
I'm going to tell you something I used to do, when I was trying to figure out ways to love myself better. I used to take a ballpoint pen, and write affirmations on my legs (usually on my thighs, where they wouldn't show once I was dressed.) I would write all the things I didn't think I was, or that I really wanted to be, in big, bold script: Smart. Strong. Beautiful. Brave. Calm. Healthy. Cared for. Safe. I was labeled then, visibly, with labels that I wanted, and it made it easier to discard the things I thought about myself that were ugly or untrue. My own little uplifting secret.
Just a thought. Loves -- v
I think you look pretty great...but I understand that we never feel that way. Before getting pregnant with my rainbow...I looked 5 months pregnant even after having Amelia. My belly was looked fully and soft even though it was empty. Now, the reality is that after each pregnancy (this is my 5th)...a lot stays with me, like a piece of each child is added to the nest of my womb. I will never be the same...none of us will. I yearn for recognizing something of my old body (when I new nothing of death and loss).
You are amazing to share your photos...you are an inspiration to all. You look beautiful!!
you know how i feel about 'my body' not getting the memo and why shouldnt you post these pics? you did have a baby and this IS your body post partum!!! im proud of you for sharing these...xoxo
You look great. : ) Really. I envy your teeny tiny belly. Mine looks like a deflated sack of skin with tiger scratches and cracks all over it.
I think you look just amazing for 3 months post-partum and I totally understand how it's hard to not be frustrated with your body...it's sort of cruel that we have to adjust to such different bodies WITHOUT our sweet ones with us. John's big fear for me was that people would ask me if I was pregnant or how far along I was after Matthew died because I'm usually so tiny (yes, a size 0) and I definitely looked pregnant post-partum for a while.
Miraculously, no one did...but I was always worried and couldn't help but just look in the mirror and shudder sometimes.
I'm glad you are trying to love yourself. You've been through more than most post-partum women could ever imagine, so I'm glad you are trying to be gentle with yourself.
I think you look pretty great...but I understand that we never feel that way. Before getting pregnant with my rainbow...I looked 5 months pregnant even after having Amelia. My belly was looked fully and soft even though it was empty. Now, the reality is that after each pregnancy (this is my 5th)...a lot stays with me, like a piece of each child is added to the nest of my womb. I will never be the same...none of us will. I yearn for recognizing something of my old body (when I new nothing of death and loss).
You are seriously my hero & you are so awesome for posting these pictures.
My body has totally transformed since my pregnancies. I have stretch marks in places I didn't know one could get stretch marks but I love my smooshy belly! *hugs*
p.s. I have that same tank top from Target ;o)
You are GORGEOUS!!!
And geesh - perfect timing for you to bring this up. Just last night I journaled that I'm disappointed that no one tells me - "wow! You had a baby 10-11 months ago, you look GREAT!" I'm still a few pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, and I imagine if/when I lose those pounds, my body will still look different. My belly is saggier, and my butt is a little roomier. I also think if I had a living baby to show for it all, I wouldn't care as much (and that may or may not be true, I don't know...).
In the best of situations, accepting our new post-baby bodies is challenging in our culture. And we're not working on this in the best of circumstances.
You are BEAUTIFUL. Truly. And I appreciate your reminder to love our bodies as they ARE, and not to hate them for what we WISH they'd be.
I totally understand. Having the post-baby body with no baby to show for it is frustrating. I think I would also not be so concerned about it if I had my baby but without her my body is a constant reminder of what I went through. I'm nowhere near pre-baby weight and I've come to terms with it...sort of. I exercise to make myself feel better not to go back to my skinny body, because I know I am more able to face the world if I do my walk in the morning. I get very cranky when I don't do it no matter how terrible it is to get up early to walk. But that's about all I can handle. I threw myself into exercise classes after my daughter died and they took up time but that's about it. I'm not an exerciser.
It's good to focus on what makes you feel good and not what your body looks like. It very very slowly goes back to something recognizable.
oh sweetie...you're beautiful.. I look the same way and you're right it makes it even harder cause our babies are gone...I am learning to love my new body as well...it helps too because my husband seems even more attracted to my new body...weird.
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