Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I'm in a bad mood. 4 days late. Just enough time to get my hopes up. I am never peeing on a stick again. Okay, that's not true, but right now I'm determined to avoid it for the rest of my life. I had a conversation with myself this morning. It went like this:
You're really going to let this ruin your day?
Yep. I'm sad, angry, depressed, and frustrated.
It's only been three cycles. You said it would take three to four cycles to get pregnant this time.
Yes, well, three-four meant one. How can you not know that? And that weird patient at J's work said we would get pregnant sooner than we expected.
There's always next month. Take the dog for a walk, enjoy the rain, go to the library, go to the store, make dinner for once. Don't sit on the couch eating brownies and pouting all day. You really need to stop making brownies.
I don't want to go for a walk. I don't want to discuss my lack of cooking skills or my obsession with brownies either.
Fine, sorry. Just do something with yourself today.
*Silence and an angry stare*
GO FOR A WALK
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
It's a wonder the husband hasn't committed me yet.
I went for a walk. I got wet. The dog got wet and muddy. I'm a bit less angry, but still frustrated. I'm trying to find a better balance. I don't want this process to take over my life, but it's so easy to let it. It's probably a good thing I'm not charting. I am determined to be more relaxed about things this cycle. I know I'm not very good at relaxing and letting go and being calm, but I am going to try.
I have to say I am loving all of the comments on the giveaway post. I didn't realize so many people would actually tell me how blue, or grey, or white the sky is where they live. Thanks for entering, and don't forget, if you put up a link on your blog or FB you can enter a second (or third) time. Just leave another comment.