Sunday, December 12, 2010

12.12.10

I feel like I need to say that I'm okay.  I am blessed to have so many think of me and worry about how I am.  When I write here I'm either very sad or extremely happy.  There is no in-between here and you often don't see my best side.  I am coping better than I expected and most days are normal ones.  Come January 1st I think I will be feeling a lot better.  This season is difficult.  I don't have a child who is eager to celebrate the holidays.  It's just me and J here and there is a whole lot of sadness floating around this house right now.  But I am fine - functioning and coping and holding it together most days.  And I've started cooking again.  That is a HUGE step for me.  There is forward motion, tiny steps, bits of progress now and again.  I suppose I should show that side of things more often.

Thank you for caring enough to worry.

12 comments:

  1. good to hear. I know - cooking! It took me months and months. I hope the enjoyment is slowly sneaking back into things for you xxxh

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  2. Sending love, Angela. I too can't wait for December to be over. Our friends brought us a christmas tree today, and lit it, and I just sat and stared and cried at how very very wrong it is to not have a baby staring at the twinkling lights.

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  3. (((HUGS))) I'm excited to welcome January first also...

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  4. December sucks. No getting around it. I keep hoping January will be better... but I doubt it.
    Sending love....

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  5. Perfectly said.... Sending you love

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  6. Great to hear you're cooking again. That was a huge step for me as well.

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  7. Glad that you are coping and able to take those baby steps. You said it, this season is so hard without our babies. I am quite eager to close the 2010 calendar and start fresh in the new year...as fresh as I can. You are doing the best you can, we all are. Bigs hugs to you!

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  8. So glad to hear you are doing well. December is just hard, there is no way around it. Rememeber to be gentle to yourself and take care of you! ((hugs))

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  9. I'm glad to hear that you have moments of happiness. I also tend to write in my blog when I am feeling pretty bad (and I'm near a computer - the rest of the time, I compose posts in my head and then forget all of it when I get to a computer again.....those posts are very eloquent, if I do say so myself).

    These blogs are a place to vent, so no matter how you are feeling, write about it.

    I'm glad you are cooking again. Sometimes it helps to act "normal" even though the last thing you feel is normal. Other times, not moving is the only thing that we are capable of.

    Sending you love.

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  10. So glad to hear you are doing well. December is just hard, there is no way around it. Rememeber to be gentle to yourself and take care of you! ((hugs))

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  11. Sending love, Angela. I too can't wait for December to be over. Our friends brought us a christmas tree today, and lit it, and I just sat and stared and cried at how very very wrong it is to not have a baby staring at the twinkling lights.

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  12. good to hear. I know - cooking! It took me months and months. I hope the enjoyment is slowly sneaking back into things for you xxxh

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thank you!

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