Tuesday, December 7, 2010

12.7.10

Day two of eating organic and loving myself. This morning I made a smoothie for breakfast. When I was pregnant and struggling to eat enough calories (everything made me nauseated) the good people at the birth center recommended smoothies. I whined and complained about having to make smoothies, but soon fell in love with them.

This morning I crammed so much into my smoothie I want to eat chocolate for the rest of the day. I used frozen blueberries, frozen raspberries, yogurt, keifer, flax seed, spinach, and protein powder. The protein powder was the only non-organic ingredient, but I used it anyway because it helps me avoid snacking before lunch.  

Last night's dinner was really good.  (The carrots were amazing.  I highly recommend it as a side dish).  The best part wasn't the food, but the fact that J came home, saw me making dinner, and asked how he could help. We made dinner together, we chatted about his day at work, and then we ate dinner in the dining room! Usually he comes home, says hello to the dog and me, changes out of his scrubs, and then heads out to the woodshed to chop wood (So therapeutic. Come over anytime if you need to release some anger) or upstairs to his computer. And we rarely eat dinner in the dining room.  

(This is why I listen to my midwife. She tells me to make food, to eat organic, to be kind to myself, and in the process J and I connect, and talk, and cook, and eat, and spend time together. Midwives know best).

Last night when J said the blessing over our dinner he prayed for the organic diet to have an impact so that we can have a little one in our lives. I get so caught up in how I feel and what I want I forget that he has wants, feelings, needs, and fears. Last night was the second time in as many days when he has mentioned the desire to have a baby in our arms, not just our hearts.  When he talks about how he feels it's so rare and unexpected I feel like a bomb has detonated, and I am left standing in the aftermath with my mouth hanging open in shock and confusion.  I am slowly learning that I need to listen to him, pay attention to him, be less selfish.

I am making chicken broth today for soup later in the week and tonight is an entirely new dinner and venture.  It's nice to have something to focus on other than how sad and weepy I am.  It's nice to think about vegetables, smoothies, and how grateful I am for organic bunny crackers (like goldfish crackers, but so much better) instead of how miserable and sad I am.  And speaking of that, I just want to take a quick moment here and say thank you to everyone who is sending gifts, cards, and sweet little reminders of Charlotte our way.  Every day I receive a gift (or two!) in the mail and it warms this sad mama's heart to know there are others thinking of her sweet girl this Christmas.  

I'll leave you with a song today.  This one's been on repeat around here.   


  

     

16 comments:

  1. Your organic diet has inspired me to eat more veggies! Not organic necessarily, but veggies nonetheless. I bought 3 different kinds of squash to try tonight. Thanks Angela!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you enjoyed your dinner, and preparing it as well. xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Once I made my own chicken stock I've never wanted to use anything else again. I hope you find some fun in doing these new things.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for posting that video. I really love that song.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so glad the organic diet is going so well and having so many good effects in other areas too!

    Hoping that it helps in the TTC area as well.

    Thinking of you and Charlotte always!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love this post! Midwives are truly amazing people. Where would we be without midwives? I don't want to know.

    ReplyDelete
  7. We are slowly introducing organics into our diets as well. We just switched over to all organic milk a few months ago and I LOVE it. I will never drink non organic milk ever again.

    Wishing you all the best with the diet. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  8. It sounds like you had a wonderful dining experience! I would love to put the leaf for Charlotte in the mail FB me where you want it to go!

    ReplyDelete
  9. It sounds like an evening of peace and beauty....

    ReplyDelete
  10. This post brings a smile to my face, as you were probably smiling as you wrote it. Hoping your week continues to be an easier one for you. I am so happy that this organic eating has helped in several areas. And that you hold your midwife's thoughts and words so dear.
    ~C

    ReplyDelete
  11. Listening to the song now.

    This post made me happy. Happy for you both - and that then makes me happy. I don't even know you but like any good friend - it lifts me up to see happiness in a friend.

    Yay for you and the smoothie! Yay for cooking together and a dining room meal. Chopping wood...hmmm, we have a good friend who heats with wood - I should send Myers over to chop some for him - and maybe I should join him -as that does sound like good therapy!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hooray, hooray, hooray for loving yourself! I know it seems weird and even selfish, but it's so necessary to remember your value...to your family, others and mostly, yourself!!!!

    I remember right after Matthew died how John just begged me not to leave him and go to that dark place. He was talking about how I was after my mom died. At first, I was a little mad...like he felt my mom hadn't been worthy of that, and then how could there be ANY doubt that Matthew wasn't worthy of that?

    Of course, what he meant was that he needed me too...he was hurting, he was lonely, he was confused and he needed me and didn't want to have to be without me. Or at least as much of me as he could have, considering I was and am definitely a new me.

    So, like you--I sort of found myself enjoying looking into cooking for him (never liked cooking!) or trying something new...and enjoying it a bit. And, like you, it seemed like John appreciated my effort and even tried to give some back.

    It's not easy, especially when every fiber in your body would rather just stay in pajamas and netflix all day, but can come up with some great perks.

    Sending you lots of love!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh have you tried rosemary and honey carrots? It is really good!
    Also I was making berry and spinach smoothies for Atticus and me, I need to get back to that, it always made me feel good afterwords. (maybe just because i knew it was healthy? lol)
    Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh have you tried rosemary and honey carrots? It is really good!
    Also I was making berry and spinach smoothies for Atticus and me, I need to get back to that, it always made me feel good afterwords. (maybe just because i knew it was healthy? lol)
    Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  15. It sounds like an evening of peace and beauty....

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so glad the organic diet is going so well and having so many good effects in other areas too!

    Hoping that it helps in the TTC area as well.

    Thinking of you and Charlotte always!

    ReplyDelete

thank you!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 
Design by Small Bird Studios | All Rights Reserved