Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Forgot

With all that is happening right now I forgot to panic about J's work party on Friday night.  What will I wear?  What if I still feel like this on Friday?  I can only stand for about ten minutes before my heart rate goes so high I feel like I can't breathe.  I only drink water when I feel this ill, but I suppose I could drink something caffeinated or alcoholic and pretend to pass out, or have a heart attack.  Wait, he works for cardiologists, they would know I was faking it.

I have to find a dress.  I could wear the dress I wore to his last work shindig, but it's short sleeved.  I would have to find a sweater to go with it and I would have to wear tights.  Who am I kidding?  It's December.  With any dress I''ll have to don tights.  And I need to buy new tights because my pre-pregnancy ones don't fit very well (by very well I mean at all).  I hate tights.   

I would like to close my eyes, click my heels, snap my fingers, spin in three circles, and end up elsewhere.  I don't care where elsewhere is as long as Christmas isn't celebrated there.  



              

7 comments:

  1. I dont really have any good advice with this. I see your midwife said to worry for health so if your thyroid will be affected by this stress Im with her and id skip it and im sure your husband will understand....what ever you decide im hoping its the least stressful for you xoxo

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  2. My motto this year has been Fuck Christmas! The only celebrating I'm really doing is with my husband and a few very close friends and family members at the cemetery so we can celebrate with Aiden. I didn't go to my office party and have turned down a few other party invites. I will be going to my family's get together Christmas Eve and my parent's house Christmas morning.

    I hope you are able to surround yourself with people who love you and support you this icky holiday season.

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  3. UGH Sorry....work shindigs with the necessity to dress up mixed with Christmas is a hot mess. I hate tights too! (hugs)

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  4. Sweetie, with everything you have been dealing with in the last few days, you have a completely valid reason not to go. Or at the very least to make a very brief appearance which they should be grateful to get even if you are wearing pants and a nice sweater. They are doctors and they should be encouraging their employees and by extension, their employee's families, to make their health and well-being a priority.

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  5. If I have to get dressed up in more than jeans/sweats and a skanky shirt, it's not happening. It sounds like more work than it's worth just thinking about it let alone putting it into action. If you do decide to go, it's all about you and what you need. No worrying about anyone else. (easier said than done, but the good ol therapist is trying to brand that into my brain!) Strength to you lady for whatever you decide.

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  6. Just find something to wear and try not to worry about the rest until you actually have to go to the party. Then take it minute by minute and leave if you have to. You can always escape to the bathroom and spend time there if you need to be by yourself to get your heartbeat under control again. Do you think you can just make an appearance at the party and then leave? At least that way you are showing up for J's sake so you won't feel bad about that, but you aren't torturing yourself too much. I'll be thinking of you.

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  7. If I have to get dressed up in more than jeans/sweats and a skanky shirt, it's not happening. It sounds like more work than it's worth just thinking about it let alone putting it into action. If you do decide to go, it's all about you and what you need. No worrying about anyone else. (easier said than done, but the good ol therapist is trying to brand that into my brain!) Strength to you lady for whatever you decide.

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thank you!

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