I spent most of my day with a dear friend who fed me pizza and homemade chocolate cake for lunch. I arrived home just after J who was running back out the door to buy nails to finish up the shelves in the bathroom (so excited about this!).
"What's this box on the back of the couch?" I yelled out the door at him.
He ran inside, pulled the lid off, "Someone at work gave us a gift." (The nice person from the Christmas party who talked about Charlotte, said she thought about us often and how difficult it all must be.)
A baby blanket. A plush giraffe.
Pure sweetness and kindness, but it's left me feeling like spending the evening deep breathing, or hiding.
The first thought that popped into my head when I saw the contents of the box: More baby items to give away or sell someday, but that box will make a nice memory box.
Well, isn't that optimistic of me?
I'll write a thank you note. I'll tuck the box away in the second bedroom where we shove all things baby related.
I didn't prepare myself for this. I didn't realize people would buy things, expect this baby to live, grow, come home.
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Saint-Malo: Around Town
1 day ago
7 comments:
What a sweet gift. :)
What a thoughtful gift. I know what you mean, it is easy for others to be optimistic and expect a better outcome this time. I almost feel sorry for my little rainbow boy. He isn't getting all the love and attention his sister got by being our first. He hasn't gotten many gifts yet. But he's one step ahead of his sister since we painted his room. Just so hard to think this baby will be different. I continue to wish you all the best.
Susan
I hear ya. My mom mailed us some baby clothes, and most of them were for a 12 month old. At first I wondered why she did this (as I thought about having to store the clothes somewhere for a year) and then I thought, huh, I guess my mom expects this baby to live long enough to wear these. It was a bit of cynical thought, but I also smiled as I thought that perhaps its my mom's way of expressing her hope and belief that we will meet this baby alive and well, and that she will stay with us for a very very long time (longer than I live, I hope).
I was very taken by surprise by how much the people around me wanted and needed my subsequent pregnancy to end happily. It felt like people were cheering for me, and also scared me to death because I wasn't counting on things working out.
I hope this gift, and any more you receive fill you with more hope than worry.
Sending love.
It's nice of people to think of you, but I totally understand your apprehension. I couldn't buy anything for this baby until after our 20 week ultrasound. I needed the assurance that THIS baby was ok. I couldn't bring myself to unpack Olivia's things until well after that...it just felt like we were risking fate. Hang in there...I hope it will get easier for you.
It's nice of people to think of you, but I totally understand your apprehension. I couldn't buy anything for this baby until after our 20 week ultrasound. I needed the assurance that THIS baby was ok. I couldn't bring myself to unpack Olivia's things until well after that...it just felt like we were risking fate. Hang in there...I hope it will get easier for you.
What a thoughtful gift. I know what you mean, it is easy for others to be optimistic and expect a better outcome this time. I almost feel sorry for my little rainbow boy. He isn't getting all the love and attention his sister got by being our first. He hasn't gotten many gifts yet. But he's one step ahead of his sister since we painted his room. Just so hard to think this baby will be different. I continue to wish you all the best.
Susan
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