Monday, March 14, 2011
I cannot imagine you as a ten month old. I can't see you scooting across the floor, or thinking about pulling yourself up, or rolling over to reach a toy. I can't hear you babbling away about your little life, the dog, your toys, books, mama, daddy. It would all make sense to you, but we would hear nonsense coming from your sweet self.
I think it's time to pack up your things, love. We will buy a nice chest with your name engraved on it someday, but for now it will have to be a plastic tub - or five. Putting away your things doesn't mean I love you less, but when I was in the middle of my very, very dark time I realized I need to start making room for your brother or sister. You will always have space here, that spot above the fireplace will be yours as long as we are here and if we move from here we will find a new place for you.
I don't look through your memory boxes, or pictures, so why have them out in the living room? I've just realized that it's okay to place your things in a box and put them out of the way. It doesn't make me a bad mother or mean I want to forget you. This balance, dear girl, between loving you and your sibling is not easy, but I have a mother's heart and it can stretch as large as it needs to.
I feel very strongly that you've sent a little brother our way. We may know by the end of the month and if it is a boy then most of the nursery will be packed away. That will be really hard as I so want to use the things we bought with love and care for you. This balance, dear girl, …
You are moving further away and it is hard to come to the end of your birth year. Know this:
"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)"
Always and forever, dear girl.Pin It
Posted by Angela at 8:00 AM