I've been feeling so uncomfortable, grumpy, done with being pregnant, generally whiny. But then two rainbows gone, a baby delivered early, who is doing well so far thank the Lord, and I am firmly reminded by the universe to shut up and be grateful.
I believe in a kind and loving Father who is with my Charlotte at this very moment in heaven. I trust Him and it is only through my faith that I am making it through this pregnancy (as pathetic and ungraceful as the making it is). And yet every time a baby dies, every time a mother and father have to say good-bye to another baby I question just who is in charge and what in the world this in charge person is thinking. I know many in this world who don't have faith, or who have lost their faith, and honestly I don't blame them for giving up on the idea of someone out there who cares about them.
Once you're in this bereaved world there is no leaving, and really there is no better place to be lost than here, but when the numbers swell and the absolute unfairness of it all once again washes over me I can't help but want to find a way out, a path away from this sad place where no one is free from experiencing the sorrow of losing another child though we have all lost at least one and one is really more than the universe should demand from us.
I wish I had words, a way to ease the sorrow, but there is nothing I can say beyond the inadequate and really quite useless - I'm sorry.
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Saint-Malo: Around Town
20 hours ago
2 comments:
I as well have my daughter in heaven with Jesus. Her name is Isabella and she passed at 18 months. I think that it is so hard to beleive that a good God would do this and I agree that it is often hard to comprehend. I think that we will never understand until we join them. I am sorry for your loss and I pray for your future to be bright and full of only happiness.
I as well have my daughter in heaven with Jesus. Her name is Isabella and she passed at 18 months. I think that it is so hard to beleive that a good God would do this and I agree that it is often hard to comprehend. I think that we will never understand until we join them. I am sorry for your loss and I pray for your future to be bright and full of only happiness.
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