Thursday, July 7, 2011


I had two questions from this post.  Thanks for asking, here's my answers:

First up, from fireworksandrainbows:

How often do you think yourself into a tizzy?

When I think about my Xavier, and TTC again, sometimes I get panicky about delivery, blood pressure, more death etc. etc.

Does it happen to you? at 29 weeks you are close and I assume you would think back to your one and only birth experience, what do you do to help yourself get into a better headspace?

I think and worry far too often, usually about things I don't need to think or worry about.  I'm a nervous worrier, always have been, but that particular personality quirk has really been highlighted with Charlotte's death and the current pregnancy. 

I've been working through the Hypnobabies CD's to help me keep calm about my upcoming labor and delivery.  The 'Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations' CD helps a lot. I make sure to listen to it everyday.

Prayer helps.  I pray for peace, calm, low stress, the ability to turn off my thoughts so I can sleep.  Every night at supper J prays for Bennett and "all the babies in our lives."  We are surrounded by loved ones who pray for us and this baby and we can feel that lifting us up. 

Talking to friends helps, and if I feel really panicky my midwife can always talk me down, get me back to center.

It's one day, one fear at a time right now.  Labor is CLOSE, closer than I like to think about (8 weeks from today if he is born at 38 weeks like his sister) but I am doing my best to stay busy.  

Second question, from Jessica:

Hmm question... Well I know that you love to read and last I remember you work part time.

So what do you do with your free time and what is (or a few) of your favorite books?

I'm actually a non-working lazy bum right now.  A few months after Charlotte died I began working one day a week in the bookstore where I worked throughout my pregnancy (and a couple years before that) but it wasn't consistent work and I was paid in store credit so I'm not sure if that counts. Around the holidays there wasn't much for me to do so I stopped going in, but this Tuesday I wandered in for a few hours so perhaps I'll put in a few more hours before Bennett's born. 

In my free time: I read a lot, spend time with friends, spend time with J and other family members ... lately all of the free time has been spent working on our big summer project - building a patio.  Life is really low key right now.  I spend most of my days cleaning the house, reading, walking the dog, going to various appointments, seeing the few friends who live in town.

Books.  It's so hard for me to pick favorite books.  I like the classics, Dickens, Austen, the Bronte sisters, but there are so many others I love.  Gone With the Wind will always be at the top of my list.  I read it in 4th grade, picked it out of the library because it was the biggest book I could find and I had read through everything in the kids' section.  I loved the story, the weight and smell of the book.  Every time I reread it I am reminded of picking that old, falling apart, hard cover copy off the shelf in the small library in my home town and lugging it to the front desk to check out.  I selected it out of boredom and a hope of occupation, but found myself enamored with the story, Scarlett, Rhett, the South.  I even wrote an alternate ending and shared it with my fourth grade class, because I didn't like the one in the book (how obnoxious of me).

This was fun, thanks for participating! 

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