Friday, July 15, 2011

Birth plans and delivery gowns

Yesterday was a hard day and it was late afternoon before I figured out why.  31 weeks with Bennett, 14 months without her.  Even if I don't mark those days consciously the impact of them is still felt.

This is what's staring me down today:



Blah.  My next appointment is on the 21st and I need to have the plan done by then, (or at least I think I do because Dr. K said we would discuss labor) but every time I see it on the coffee table I find something else to do.  Simply put I want it quiet and dark and I want to be left alone with my support team, but there are more details needed so I have to sit down and write them out.

Birth plans are hard.  I found a few I like online, but they are so detailed.  There is no way I'm walking onto a busy labor/delivery ward with a forty page outline of what I would like to happen.  I ended up printing the one off the hospital website as it's only one page and that seems more manageable and respectful of a busy hospital staff.

There are some issues J and I can't decide on.  Hopefully Dr. K will have some insight at my next appointment.  Our biggest struggle is the Vitamin K shot.  We will not be having the eye ointment that is routinely administered, but we are having a hard time making sense of the Vitamin K research.  Some studies claim that Vitamin K can make leukemia in young ones more likely, but other studies dispute that claim.  Well, with a nephew and cousin who have battled leukemia at a very, very young age I am hesitant to agree to it, but I don't want to put Bennett in danger by refusing it.

In my mind I'm running around like a crazy person organizing things, sorting, cleaning, freezing meals, but in reality I am doing a whole lot of nothing.  This morning I realized that if we stick with the every four week schedule at the specialist I may only have two more appointments at 32 and 36 weeks.  I see my midwife every two weeks, but the specialists try to make it so we don't have to travel down to the hospital very often.

That's the other thing I have to figure out at my next appointment - what's the plan?  Will non-stress tests be necessary or are we all comfortable with how this pregnancy is progressing?  How do we feel about letting this pregnancy go until 42 weeks if all looks good?  I don't want to be induced, but I'm not sure the doctors will be okay with that.  I've been avoiding all of these thoughts and questions, believing September may never come, but as the weeks between now and September 15th melt away I am aware that I need to figure some of this out although I would really rather spend the next seven (!!) - nine weeks with my head between my knees deep breathing.  Only problem with that: I can no longer put my head between my knees.

I did manage to find a comfortable gown for delivery.  When my midwife mentioned finding something so I wouldn't have to worry about wearing two gowns or being exposed while moving around in labor I began looking right away.  Did you know there are designer delivery gowns??  I don't know why I am surprised by this, but there is no way I was paying $40.00 or more (I saw one for $80.00) for a gown that is unlikely to come out the other side of labor unscathed.

I am quite pleased to report that I found cotton gowns on sale at Target for $12.00.  I bought two, one for labor, one for after, which was still cheaper than the cheapest "delivery gown" I found online.  I can wear them now and during labor and if they are ruined after that I won't feel like I wasted money.  And they're kind-of cute too:



Having that one detail sorted makes me feel a little calmer.  My goal is to have bags packed, clothes washed, and Hypnobabies classes done by 38 weeks just in case this little guy arrives early like his sister did.  Somewhere in there I might attempt to deep clean a few areas in the house and freeze a few meals.

These next few weeks will be ... difficult for those close to me.  I apologize for any crankiness/craziness/irrationality/overabundance of frantic blog posts.  My stomach aches constantly from nerves and worry, but overall I feel okay - even hopeful - about things.  It's very confusing.  If you pray, please keep praying for our little family as we anxiously count down the days.

9 comments:

  1. It makes me almost relieved to have little choice but a scheduled c-section to have to worry about. After having birthing trauma myself I would hate to be in your position right now with all those choices to make on top of thinking about your daughter while you are doing it. I'm overwhelmed for you.

    Lots of Love! xoxox

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  2. Oh honey, all those choices are so hard after everything we've been through.
    Just try to remember it's *your* choice, you don't have to make life easy for the hospital staff, they should accomodate you. You are the one birthing your baby.
    I know you have the loving support of your mw, and it seems she will not let you get lost in hospital protocol.
    Good luck with your birth plan, I know how hard it all is. x

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  3. We are both getting so very close and it is so surreal. I have spent the majority of this pregnancy in denial, as well. And now that time is ticking away, I am freaking out a little bit, too. Hopefully all the freaking out will help to pass the time. :)

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  4. Vitamin K shot was a big one for me too. After countless hours of research, I decided to have my midwife administer the oral version. I also think delayed cord clamping, if possible, is hugely beneficial for baby. And finally, placental encapsulation. It helps with postpartum depression, milk supply, and more. Good luck with all your decisions! Just start one thing at a time. :)

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  5. It's so difficult. I never had a birth plan or decided anything in advance about R's birth. I just couldn't.

    Thinking of you over these coming weeks as you await Bennett's arrival. xo

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  6. Reading this brings back the end of my pregnancy. It is a lot, and it can be overwhelming. And the fact that you're being so thoughtful about all these birth decisions just speaks volumes to me of how much you love Bennett and want the best for him (even when we're unsure what the best is!).

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  7. Like Catherine, I can't make plans either. The last time I made plans, they all blew up in my face. I'm just hoping for the best, that's all. And I am for you, too.
    xo

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  8. Reading this brings back the end of my pregnancy. It is a lot, and it can be overwhelming. And the fact that you're being so thoughtful about all these birth decisions just speaks volumes to me of how much you love Bennett and want the best for him (even when we're unsure what the best is!).

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  9. It's so difficult. I never had a birth plan or decided anything in advance about R's birth. I just couldn't.

    Thinking of you over these coming weeks as you await Bennett's arrival. xo

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thank you!

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