We had an amazing night! Bennett has been breast feeding exclusively since his 8:00 pm feeding and he loves it. The two of us figured out a great routine and I am so well rested this morning I feel like a new person. I know tomorrow he may decide this routine no longer works for him, but I really hope it does because we were able to sleep a lot.
Bennett would wake up and ask to eat every two to three hours. I didn't have to wake him once! I would lift him from his co-sleeper (loving this by the way), take him to the nursery, remove his Halo Sleepsack (we love this too) to let him wake up a bit, nurse, change his diaper, put his sleep sack back on, rock him to sleep. And then I would walk back to our room, set him in his co-sleeper and we slept until he woke again.
What made the difference? I have no idea. My midwife came over to check in on us last night (getting used to home visits - I don't even have to change out of my pajamas). I haven't seen her since the birth because of various interfering circumstances and it was great to talk to her and have her look over Bennett and me.
Bennett seemed to recognize her voice when she talked to him. I think they have a special connection.
We visited for a long time, ate dinner together, and when she left I decided to run with the confidence she gave me and try Bennett on the breast only at his 8:00 feeding. I thought we would need a bottle sometime during the night, but Bennett is completely happy with the situation.
My midwife asked me how I felt about the birth and all I could get out was a strange noise. I know some are waiting for Bennett's birth story, but it will be a long time coming, if it ever comes at all. I don't feel great about how it went, how I coped, and even though my midwife said I did great I feel like I barely made it through. It wasn't what I hoped for.
Of course I'm grateful Bennett is here and healthy. And I'm happy with Dr. K for letting me spend most of my labor in the dark shower with my midwife sitting outside the curtain. I'm just disappointed with how difficult it was for me to move forward, sustain contractions, focus. Laboring is hard, laboring with post traumatic stress riding along is unimaginably difficult. The entire process was frustrating, especially because I was told at one point I had gone from 8 to 6 cm. Well, so much for not talking about it! But really, I won't elaborate more. I need time to process it, I think.
Anyway, more on Bennett boy: When our midwife checked his weight yesterday he had gained 2-3 oz!
I am so proud of him and happy we are moving in the right direction. We see the pediatrician this morning and I am certain she will confirm Bennett is doing well and growing.
Bennett had a few visitors yesterday. He was wearing a very cute outfit, but managed to pee all over it and himself - even hit his own eye poor dear - before some of his aunts and uncles showed up.