Sunday, February 12, 2012

hope


During worship at church this morning we sang one of my favorite songs: I Have a Hope.  My faith brought me through the time immediately after Charlotte's birth and death, my pregnancy with Bennett, everything in between, all that's come after.

It's hard to maintain faith sometimes, hard to believe in a loving God when I don't have Charlotte here with me. I don't understand, there's no reason, no why for her death.  When I spoke to the counselor on Thursday she said, "No autopsy then ..."  I responded, "Yes, we had an autopsy done.  There is no cause of death."

No cause.  Cause of death unknown.  If I think about it - stop all other thoughts, focus on breathing and that one idea I feel overwhelmed.  In our modern world how can we not know?  How is that possible?

In the nearly two years since her death I've learned I can't lose myself in the why.  I believe there is meaning and reason, I just can't see it yet.  Yesterday I was listening to the radio when Laura Story's Blessings came on.  The lyrics spoke to my heart and experience.


'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise""

I don't write about my faith very often.  I hope you know I am a follower of Christ even if I don't proclaim it daily.  Sometimes I feel the need to share my faith, let you know God loves us.  Even in our darkest times, when life doesn't make sense and the unknowns overwhelm, He is there.

**

Lyrics in full:

Tommy Walker: I Have a Hope 

I have a hope, I have a future
I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me
My life’s not over, a new beginning’s just begun
I have a hope, I have this hope

God has a plan, it’s not to harm me
But it’s to prosper me and to hear me when I call
He intercedes for me, working all things for my good
Though trials may come I have this hope

I will yet praise Him, my great Redeemer
I will yet stand up and give Him glory with my life
He takes my darkness and He turns it into light
I will yet praise Him, my Lord my God

My God is for me, He’s not against me
So tell me whom then, tell me whom then shall I fear
He has prepared for me
Great works He’ll help me to complete
I have a hope, I have this hope

Goodness and mercy, they’re gonna follow me
And I’ll forever dwell in the house of my great King
No eye has ever seen all He’s preparing there for me
Though trials may come, I have this hope

There’s still hope for me today
‘Cause the God heaven loves me 

Laura Story: Blessings

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

2 comments:

  1. What lovely lyrics to those songs and a great message you write here today!!,hugs

    ReplyDelete
  2. A lovely post. So easy to be drawn to a post with this title, for obvious reasons.
    xo

    ReplyDelete

thank you!

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