Friday, March 2, 2012

Rash Part V


In all reality we're probably on rash post CXXV.  We saw the naturopath this morning, not mine, but one in the practice - Dr. D - and now have a few things to try.  We went back and forth on diet, it was a real tug of war, but I remained firm that I'm not changing my diet.

Why am I so stubborn?  If it will help B I should do it, no complaints, but I just don't want to.  Being a parent is all about selflessness and sacrifice, I know, I know.  My ability to handle change is pretty much nonexistent, since Charlotte died I melt down when things change.  I couldn't find a way to explain to this doctor I've met one time before how I'm coping well all things considered, but if you take away my daily turkey sandwich with cheese I may lose my mind.  I need things to stay the same.  And I haven't figured out a way to convey that shortly; to distill all of me and my oddness into a five minute conversation.

Dr. D eventually wrote "discuss diet of Angela at next visit" on B's chart.  Next visit is with Dr. B, so I think Dr. D decided to let her battle it out with me since she knows me so well.  If the steps we are taking this month don't work I will give up wheat and dairy.  I will.  Hold me to it, please.

So the cause of all this: most likely the antibiotics from the NICU.  I knew those monsters were going to come back and haunt me someday.  It's so hard to be in a situation like that, to think you are doing best for your child, only to find out there was no infection to treat so there was no need for antibiotics.  So frustrating.

I'm not even sure we can continue seeing the naturopath.  It's expensive, our insurance doesn't cover it - well, our new one may cover 50%, still waiting to hear - and I cycle from well to ill so often I'm visiting the office constantly.  I nearly fainted at the front desk when the total for both of us was announced. We're still recovering from the hit we took last year.  Uncovered naturopath, midwife, and chiropractor for an entire pregnancy plus covered high risk doctor plus hospital stay plus NICU stay equaled a whole lot of cash.

Part of me just wants to forget about all of this.  Forget the tinctures, forget the Unda's (homeopathic medicines), forget the vitamins and supplements, go back to a traditional doctor, resume my twice yearly visits with medication as a constant instead of an every now and again fix when things get out of control. But I feel better than I have in years.  And prolonged use of that medication can cause congestive heart failure.

*Sigh*

Hard to know if I'm doing the right thing.  Feeling like a stubborn, selfish mama ...

Hopefully B's skin clears up and my thyroid settles down.

4 comments:

  1. You're doing awesome. I am all for science, but you know, if you really don't feel like changing your diet, perhaps on some level you intuitively understand the problem and it's not diet. I know, not very scientific. I am a huge believer that diet is often part of the problem, but not always. Antibiotics are just brutal to the gut flora, so that sounds like a highly probable cause as well. :(

    Is B on probiotics already?

    Hope your thyroid improves!!! Hang in there! I started taking thyroid meds a few months ago in desperation, but I am soon to start your road of using natural medicine and will be working with my naturopath to try to wean off them. You are an inspiration, no matter what you choose going forward. :)

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  2. I saw your comments about Bennett's rash, but I'm not sure that I saw that he has been seen by a dermatologist. I don't know if pediatric derms exist but maybe they would have some ideas for your poor itchy guy.

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  3. Just wanted to send some hugs and support. You ARE an awesome momma. Given what life has given you, you are entitled to sameness. B needs you sane even if he has a rash. I WISH that insurance would cover homeopathics. It is so sad that they don't b/c they are better and cheaper in the long run.

    HUGS, support and prayers for a positive resolution.

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thank you!

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