A Springtime Visit
10 hours ago
Friday, May 25, 2012
wits' end
I just don't know what to do about B's sleep problems. I know things just seem bleak because I'm exhausted and in the middle of trying to get him to nap - AGAIN, the morning one was a battle too - but goodness it's frustrating.
We finally had him on a good routine and now he's back to waking constantly. I think he might be teething, but every time I've thought that before I've been wrong. Most days I get to the point where my efforts are not working so I give up and put him in his crib where he sobs and screams. But most of the time that works, and within a few minutes.
Rocking is not wanted, and lately nursing to sleep isn't wanted either. Standing over the crib was working - and sometimes that still works at night - but most of the time it just makes him try to scale the crib to get to me.
And my saving grace - bringing him to bed with me in the middle of the night, or napping with him - no longer works. He will not settle anywhere but his crib, and he does not tolerate anyone sleeping next to him.
The problem is that he doesn't want to nap, he wants to stay up and play, but he must nap for his health, and my sanity, so I have to ensure he does.
I've tried everything, I've even strewn toys about his crib so he can play if he doesn't want to sleep right away. It's like he has to cry some to fall asleep, and when I hold him while he does so it's a harder, more angry cry.
Honestly, I don't know if this is best. I have no idea if we're doing the right thing. We're trying, we've read a few articles and books, but what those sleep and parenting books don't tell you is that every baby is different, and what's right for one may not be right for another. (I despise parenting books, but that's another topic for a different day.)
B is sleeping now. When I went in the third time to soothe him he let me rock him to sleep. Not in a cradle hold, mind you, but tummy to tummy, his head pushed up against my neck, which he used to hate.
This too shall pass, right?
PS,
I'll take "been there," "know your pain," "shoot, I'm sorry," but I would rather not hear, "do this, "try this," "you're going about it all wrong." This is one of those times I need to vent a bit without receiving advice in return.
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22 comments:
About the only thing that gets me through those times is reminding myself that this is temporary, it will get better. Doesn't make it any easier, but I keep a tiny bit of my sanity.
About the only thing that gets me through those times is reminding myself that this is temporary, it will get better. Doesn't make it any easier, but I keep a tiny bit of my sanity.
About the only thing that gets me through those times is reminding myself that this is temporary, it will get better. Doesn't make it any easier, but I keep a tiny bit of my sanity.
About the only thing that gets me through those times is reminding myself that this is temporary, it will get better. Doesn't make it any easier, but I keep a tiny bit of my sanity.
Yup - it does get better . . .then worse again, then better for a while, then worse for a couple of nights . . . you get the picture. And I wouldn't even begin to contemplate giving anyone advice on sleep problems - we finally thought we'd got it licked at 16 months and now we're up twice a night again and he'll only nap on us or in his buggy! So, you also have my sympathy.
I think its the age, B is only a few days older than Amanda and shes doing it to. Wants to be awake all of the time. She will nap in my arms but UGHHH I want to be free at naptime lol. With my other two this happened as well which is why i say its the age. My good sleepers become horrible sleepers and I really regret cosleeping for awhile lol.
It does get better... some.. LOL My 7 year old sleeps great :D haha! This too shall pass :) I think its the hardest because you know they need to sleep, they get so clingy, so crabby without sleep, they need it. THey always fall asleep 2 minutes to getting out of the car as well ughhhhh
Aw, hang in there. Sometimes Eliyana's sleeping would get all screwed up and there really wasn't a reason . . . other times it was right before a major developmental breakthrough.
Yep, this too shall pass. Hugs!
Hang in there mama! I know your pain! :)
I finally saw my therapist last night and of course we spent some time talking about Allie's sleep. She kindly reminded me that it has changed over the past year and like you said, this too shall pass (someday! Not today, but someday). :)
Whats that saying? 'These days sleep is like the unicorn, its rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any'. So, the fact I remember this quote shows I have as you say 'been there done that'. We co-sleep so I couldn't offer much advice on putting B to sleep in his crib anyway. But it will pass I promise.
Valerie
xxx
I just wrote on my blog about how Kaia's sleep isn't as great as I would like...but I would like her to nap 3 hours a day and sleep 12 hours through the night. HA! Maybe I'm asking a bit much, no?
Sleep woes I think are the hardest part of parenting so far. The spica cast, as sucky as it was, was nothing compared to lack of sleep so I definitely feel you over here.
Not a "been there, done that," but rather a "AM there, DOING that!"
O will only nap in the ergo, outdoors or being held after nursing. The second he hits the crib he screams, and screams for up to 30 minutes without falling asleep (at which point I can't bear it anymore and I rescue him, and throw him in the ergo, and off we go to walk around the neighborhood while he naps.)
I know it will pass, and it will change, and someday we will look back on these days with a rosy warm glow of memory, right?
Hang in there mama.
xo
I know this isn't the best way, but have you thought of maybe taking him driving around the block a few times? I had to do that with my son when he was about that age, and a few times around the block, he'd be out and sleep all night.
Been there, know your pain, and shoot, I'm sorry! :) Seriously and for reals. Some kids don't sleep easily - they just don't. Mine didn't, until they were old enough to take melatonin. I finally figured out with my first that the only things that worked were the very things all the books said never to do, and with my second I honestly did not touch a single parenting book. By the time I had my second, I had been a postpartum doula for 2 years and Seen It All. And knew every trick and technique. And her sleep still sucked. Turns out she has some sensory processing issues, but some of it is just temperament and some is neurology.
Sleep is huge! And it's something you can't control. Parents often THINK they can, or at least feel like it's their responsibility to do so, but you simply can't make someone else sleep (without drugs - lol!). You also can't make someone else eat, or pee/poop. But all of these are the CLASSIC parenting struggles, with shelves of parenting books devoted to each topic.
Hang in there! :) And remember what a great mama you are!
P.S. This might give you a little laugh!
http://www.reallifetravels.com/mommy-sleep-training/
OK this will pass! If you don't think so read my post on my teen boy. I would swear he was just born yesterday:)
http://www.teshastreasures.com/
Really it will be over soon and probably work out on it's own. With my kids they have all had stages and phases that were tough, knowing it will soon end is a big help
Because you said we could: "been there". Mostly with Angus, less so with Juliet (though her sleep is not great by any means, especially over night) but the days were particularly brutal with Angus.
Hang in there is all I can say.
xo
I am right there now with my 10 month old, she is still up at least once a night to nurse. During the day I can tell when she is ready for a nap (fussy, rubbing her eyes). She doesn't always fall asleep nursing anymore either so I just lay her down, she fusses at most a few minutes and goes to sleep. I personally don't think a few minutes of fussing is bad, some kids need that to unwind. And she is my 6th, I've done this will all of them and they are turning out fine. ;) Hang in there! ((hugs))
Oh Lawks, yes, been there. One of mine never napped and Ben looks like going the same way. I know your pain. All I can say is, if you manage to get through this without him also resorting to poo warfare, you've got one up on me ;)
Oh, yes. I have been there. Having a child let me understand on a gut deep level why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. When K was 4 months old she would only sleep 30 minutes at time, even at night. I tried so many things and listened to so much advice. I ended up having to go completely against my instinct and just let her cry. I was so sleep deprived that I started hallucinating. I almost wrecked my car when a large (imaginary) dog ran in front of me while driving. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Looking back it was the toughest part of parenthood. Eventually it gets better. You either find something that works or the baby changes sleep habits. I found a lot of comfort reading the posts on Ask Moxie's blog. I found a lot of moms there in the same boat and felt much less isolated. I hope you get to another phase soon. Take care.
Been there, done that, and yes, it gets better. Eventually. Wish I could tell you when though... I've always been amazed at how little sleep I actually need to survive another day. But wouldn't it be great just to enjoy a good night's sleep once in a while... ;-)
Oh yes I am with you on the sleep problem ! My Georgina will only sleep ON me in the day time - as soon as I move dramatically or try to put her down she wakes up.
At night she sleeps only if right next to me - and I mean velcro'ed right next to my side - I am now used to this and can sleep like this ...
I have resorted to a new and clean puppy bed (fleece) which is warm and snug to see if that works (pic on my face book !) My other 2 (much older were not like this - they could sleep through anything !!)
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