Wednesday, July 11, 2012

intense


Tonight I feel overwhelmed with love for Bennett; it's like newborn days all over again.  He is so clingy right now, and when he crawls around the house trying to find me with tears streaming down his face my heart melts.


I just love him so much.


It makes me wish I felt love like that for his sister.


I love her, course I do, but it's different, based on ideas rather than a person.  Who she might be as opposed to who he is.


It was 90 degrees out today, but Bennett wanted lots of snuggles, so he sat on my lap and played with his blocks, then we curled up on the couch and read books before nursing and snuggling to sleep.


He holds on to me so tightly; my dress clenched in his baby fists as he tries to climb from the floor to my arms.


So, then, this is what it means to be a mother to a child who breathes and needs and wants and returns love.


It takes my breath away.



5 comments:

  1. I get this. Really. Especially given our clingy babies are going through a similar stage.
    xo

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  2. I totally understand what you mean about a different love for our living babies in comparison to our heavenly ones. I have often thought about (and tried to explain to others) how my love for Natalie is more based on my respect for her and her memory and the sheer awe I have for those hours we had with her. For Malachi and Sapphira my love is more based on their silly little quirks, the funny things they say, and the love they show me...all things you and I didn't get with our girls. I don't think we could help but have a different type of love for our girls just like there are different things I love about Bubs and Sis. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Love you, momma! xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. This post is beautiful. So full of love and warmth.

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  4. I understand what you mean. It's hard to put into words and explain the different love that I have for my two boys.

    ReplyDelete

thank you!

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