Tuesday, October 9, 2012

turn this mind off. or at least down

I needed a bit of quiet time today. Or at least a stretch when I wasn't thinking so hard I thought my brain would implode. I spent the day with my mom and B. We walked and walked and walked and walked.

We went down to the huge park by the river, walked the length of the 23 acre park, let B go crazy on the playground for a while, headed into the downtown core, shopped a bit, had lunch, walked home (with a stop for frozen yogurt along the way).

I think we clocked at least five miles.

The weather here is gorgeous, though I am longing for the rain. It starts out cold; round about 40 degrees, but warms up to 70 or so by the afternoon. We started our walk wreathed with layers. We wore gloves and hats, our breath dashing before us in the cold morning air. By the time we rounded the corner to home we were down to light sweaters and B was snoring it up in the stroller.

Much is weighing heavily on my heart right now. I could list it all, but some of it is my sorrow, some others, and, really, who wants a catalog of sorrow?

I would like to dive under the covers and read through Harry Potter. The whole series. Again. I did that after Charlotte died. I found strength to go on within those pages. Somehow I held on long enough to bring B into this world. And he has given me millions of reasons to continue living. Without her. Half of my heart is gone. Still I breathe. And my boy wonder makes the breathing ache a little less.


  1. Praying that God would take some of your heaviness and also for your upcoming talk this weekend. I am totally with you on the Harry Potter series. I re-read it after Caleb died and watched the movies. It gave me strength and I liked knowing that the darkness would not overcome.....Hang in there

  2. I am feeling that heaviness right there with you at the moment. It is so hard isn't it, so all consuming. Wishing for gentle days for you.


thank you!


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