Thursday, March 14, 2013
This pregnancy has been really rough. And I'm only 8 weeks in! Poor B has been running wild while I lay on the couch/bathroom floor/guest bed. My symptoms are worse than my two previous pregnancies and some days I can barely function. I've been sick since the beginning of February, though I didn't register positive on a test until the middle of the month.
B does not like having a sick mama. He cries and tries to climb in my lap when I get sick. The other day he got so upset he ran in the bathroom and dropped the toilet seat on my head while I was vomiting. Sweet boy thought it would make mama stop, but it just made the situation worse (talk about adding insult to injury).
I'm up in the air regarding a care provider for this pregnancy. The people I had in place last time are not available to me so I am trying to figure out who I would like to see/which hospital we would like to birth at. I have my first appointment with a group of midwives at a hospital about an hour away next week. I hope I love them and won't have to figure something else out. The midwife I am scheduled to see used to work where Charlotte was born so she knows my history (read: baggage). It's so strange to be this far along without an appointment or ultrasound.
I don't feel very anxious about this pregnancy. Probably because I'm too busy crying about how awful I feel. I have never shed so many tears over morning sickness. Yay, hormones! This is the first pregnancy where the gender isn't already clear to me. I knew with Charlotte and Bennett, but this time I haven't a clue. Honestly, it feels like a boy AND girl in there, but that's just because my boy and girl symptoms are all mixed together this time. I'm leaning towards girl, but that's what my heart aches for so who really knows how much logic and truth there is to that prediction.
Belly wise, I have the infamous first trimester bloat going on. I'm showing a tiny bit, but most of it is due to food. When I feel well enough to eat I cram it in.
J has been trying really hard to alleviate my symptoms. Something is working, I think, because I don't feel as bad and the vomiting has slowed. J is really excited. I'm still in the first trimester what was I thinking my 18 month old cries when I do and slams the toilet seat on my head to make me stop vomiting whose idea was this I'm a bad mama phase.
I will be blogging a lot about this pregnancy. I hope it's not a trigger for anyone. I've come to a place where this blog is about me and my life. While that includes loss and Charlotte, of course, it also includes life in general. I hope everyone is comfortable here. I'm so excited to share our journey to rainbow #2 with you.