Monday, August 24, 2015

preschool / hearing aids / missing my kindergartner / basically everything


I guess I should stop being surprised when I look at the last time I posted and realize close to a month has gone by.

In this stage of my life I am busy, busy, busy with the kids, and when I have time to sit for a few moments my thoughts don't instantly turn to blogging like they used to.

J is really busy with house projects, which means I am more hands on with the kids in the evening than I was before. Well ... once ... a long time ago. We've been working hard on one house or another since January! We still love our new house to pieces, but we don't know anyone in the neighborhood. The current sermon series at church is on what it means to be a good neighbor. I guess it's time to go knock on some doors (or just pray that the Lord would create less awkward opportunities to meet people!)

We're gearing up for our first busy fall. Bennett will be attending preschool two days a week at our church, and he will be starting Cubbies as well, which meets once a week in the evening (part of the Awana program, kind-of like Sunday school, but with Bible memorization). And of course both kids are signed up for our third round of music classes. We've never been very scheduled, and I don't ever want to be super scheduled, so we'll see how we do with this new season of business and commitments (one reason I am considering homeschooling: more opportunities to hang out all day in our jammies)

We have finally achieved all waking hours hearing aid usage for Ainsleigh. Wait, does that even make sense?? If your child has hearing loss and you want to pull your hair out because they won't leave their hearing aid in, call me. I'll tell you all about our struggles and how it took close to a year before Ainsleigh would leave her aid in. She is doing really, really well with her language development, and is overall awesome and saucy and exhausting. God made her a fierce little darling. I really am just along for the ride with her.

Charlotte would be starting kindergarten this year. Would be. Should be. Isn't. I don't feel too terribly awful about it, maybe because I know we would likely be educating at home, but there is a sadness that is hovering, especially when I see homeschool plans for kindergarten. This morning a little girl named Charlotte called into the radio station I was listening to in the car to tell a joke. I nearly had to pull over when I heard her little four-year-old voice, because it made the pain of never knowing Charlotte's voice so acute I could hardly breathe.

This feels a tiny bit like a holiday letter, which may be another reason why I've backed off blogging. No one likes holiday letters, especially when lost ones are added in to the news like it's no big deal.

Bennett is ...

Ainsleigh is ... 

Charlotte isn't.

It's funny how that one little word can hold so much meaning and hurt.

But despite the one who is gone we are, as we have always been without her, mostly fine. (I'm still trying to figure out how that's possible.)

Which may be the real reason I haven't blogged for a while.

Persons one, two, three, four - fine.

Person five - still missed.

Same story.

Over and out.

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