Saturday, March 12, 2016

It's never possible, but I always try

I really was going to write here more. I was going to dive in, take all of the posts out of my head, and off the scraps of paper that accumulate around the house like driftwood after an ocean rocking storm, but it never happened. And I think it might not happen until the kids are a little older. If ever.

Our family is in a nice slow routine of preschool, and playdates, and church, and dinners from scratch, and learning how to be. We're mostly introverts. We like books. We love walks in the rain. The house is coming along, though the projects are endless. The dog is slowing down noticeably. I can see our time with her waning.

I have shed so much anxiety this year, but I still hold some closely. I can drop B off at preschool without a backward glance, but this afternoon when Ainsleigh was being over dramatic about trying a piece of sour kiwi I tiptoed into her room mid-nap to check her breathing. Just to make sure. Just in case. No child of mine is going to die from a random sour kiwi incident. Ha! As if I have any control over anyone's life.

J is turning a large blue rain barrel into a strawberry growing device while the kids run around in the temporary sunshine. This being March the sun is on and off stage at lightning quick intervals. I just got drenched while walking the dog, which is why I am claiming a few solo minutes with a mug of hot tea.

And just like that, my time is up. Ainsleigh is on my lap, "reading to me." Her story is, "Abby, Elmo, Abby, Elmo ..." and she would like me to name all the characters in her book she doesn't recognize. So, it was good to catch up. I'll be back ... in five weeks, or months, or years.

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