I read a blog post today and it knocked my socks clear off. I've been wavering on the blog cliff for a while now. I've felt stuck in a rut. Just hanging out in the same place with fabulous readers and a whole lot of posting, but very little growth.
I considered pushing hard for change this year. I've felt on the outside for a long time. Like there's some magical blogging formula and I just can't crack it (darn you poor math skills). I thought about seeking advertising, paying to advertise elsewhere and making this more of a business. I thought about page view and follower increases. I thought about more exposure as a writer. Exposure that would hopefully lead to a paid gig, because supporting even a tiny bit of this lovely empire I'm blessed to call mine would make me feel good.
Then I read this post from 5ohwifey. Oh yeah, convicted. And convinced. Her post made me think about all of the reasons I blog, and all of the reasons why I shouldn't force this blog into a business.
I blog because I like to write. I love the feel of keys beneath my fingers, and words pushing their way out of my mind so hard and fast it's all I can do to keep up.
I blog because I like sharing my babies with the world. I like showing my B off, and I like remembering my C.
I blog so parents who have lost babies feel less alone.
I blog because I feel like I have something to say.
I blog because I want you to know how much I love Jesus. Even if it's a quiet love, it's still an all consuming part of my life.
I blog because it makes me happy.
I blog because I can't speak my emotions very well.
I blog because it allows me to "meet" people I would never have the opportunity to meet otherwise.
I blog because some days are hard, and lonely, and the grief hits me in the back of the knees and I just want to lay down and cry, but I have to keep going because B needs me and I want to be fully present for him.
I blog because I want to. I don't force myself to write and I don't want that to change.
And yeah, your comments mean a lot to me. They make me feel good. They make my writing feel appreciated. And yeah, I check my page views. I track where I'm at, and if I'm growing, but I think if I pushed hard for growth I would obsess over page views, followers and comments. I have no problem setting down the computer for a few days and hanging out with my family. I don't want to place myself in a position where the need to gain pushes my family to the side.
So I'll keep writing, and if you enjoy it here, please keep reading. I certainly enjoy your company.