Little Bird

I'm one day back from a relaxing trip to Seattle and all of my calmness has disappeared. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with the realization that just a stroller and crib will cost more than we spend on groceries in a month. Way more. Then there's diapers, clothing, formula and on and on and on. Right now I'm half wondering if there's any way to reverse this decision. I still have four months, plenty of time to buy things and get the nursery sorted out. Two weeks ago I was telling a friend how proud I was of my utter calmness about the whole baby situation. "I'm such a control freak, I thought for sure I would be panicking about the nursery not being ready by now." Two weeks later and those words have come back to haunt me. Today I informed Jonathan that we would not be able to buy anything and our baby would be sleeping in a cardboard box with no blankets, only a diaper, and no name. Now that we're a ways into this pregnancy

I went to the Woodburn Outlets today because I wanted to buy a maternity shirt. Yes, just one. Jonathan and I are trying to cut back on expenses but you can only wear the same clothes so many times before you get bored. And now that I'm starting to grow out of Jonathan's clothes, my options are even more limited. After buying one shirt, despite the salesperson's best efforts, I found myself at the Gap. Before I got pregnant there wasn't much that could keep me away from the Gap. Or at least the one at Woodburn because it's a bit cheaper. I'm only a little ashamed to admit that most of my wardrobe comes from there. I like their jeans, I like their sweaters and t-shirts and I usually don't have to try anything on because I know how the clothes will fit. When I walked in today I realized how much I miss shopping. I hate that I have so few stores I can shop at now. Especially since maternity clothes are so expensive and I don't want to spend money o