After receiving a few e-mails asking about resources for those who have lost babies I decided to create a resource page. I'll post here and then make a permanent page over on the right there. I do not like the reason behind the e-mails, but I LOVE being asked. Those who ask always apologize for asking, or bothering me. It is never, ever a bother. I am glad to help in any way I can, but this way people don't have to ask if it makes them uncomfortable, and when I do get the e-mails I have a response ready to go.
All of the websites I've listed have excellent resource pages, but most can't remember the names of the websites, or how to find helpful websites. If you search for "dead baby" the first few sites that come up are for dead baby jokes. That's not very helpful, or funny.
I felt alone and very much like a one-woman freak show when Charlotte died. Finding websites, connecting with other mamas and realizing I wasn't the only lost one made those first few weeks - which are so awful as to be indescribable - bearable. I hope these resources help you, or someone you love, feel less alone and scared.
Websites:
www.glowinthewoods.com - Absolute lifeline for me in the beginning. I love this page for including information about how to dry up milk when it comes in. Postpartum care and resources for women who have lost babies is seriously lacking.
www.facesofloss.com - A place for people to share their stories. Searchable database, by state, by situation, etc. I've made many friends through this site and connected with others who had similar situations to mine.
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope also has an incredible resource page, a forum, and local support groups. There are TONS of ways to memorialize your child and the list provided is extensive:
http://www.facesofloss.com/p/resources.html
The family and friends page is also very helpful:
http://www.facesofloss.com/p/for-friendsfamily.html
www.mollybears.com - This site creates weighted bears for those who have lost children. I love my Charlotte bear and cuddle it often. The wait list is long, comfort won't be immediate, but the wait is worth it.
www.namesinthesand.blogspot.com - The wait list only pops up for twenty-four hours at a time so I recommend finding the facebook page as well (there is a link on this site) so you have a better chance of knowing when it opens up. Once you get on the list it doesn't take very long to have the name written as long as weather conditions are good. Be sure to check out the connected site www.thegriefeffect.blogspot.com too.
www.grieveoutloud.org - Another site with lots of helpful resources and links.
All of the websites I've listed have excellent resource pages, but most can't remember the names of the websites, or how to find helpful websites. If you search for "dead baby" the first few sites that come up are for dead baby jokes. That's not very helpful, or funny.
I felt alone and very much like a one-woman freak show when Charlotte died. Finding websites, connecting with other mamas and realizing I wasn't the only lost one made those first few weeks - which are so awful as to be indescribable - bearable. I hope these resources help you, or someone you love, feel less alone and scared.
Websites:
www.glowinthewoods.com - Absolute lifeline for me in the beginning. I love this page for including information about how to dry up milk when it comes in. Postpartum care and resources for women who have lost babies is seriously lacking.
www.facesofloss.com - A place for people to share their stories. Searchable database, by state, by situation, etc. I've made many friends through this site and connected with others who had similar situations to mine.
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope also has an incredible resource page, a forum, and local support groups. There are TONS of ways to memorialize your child and the list provided is extensive:
http://www.facesofloss.com/p/resources.html
The family and friends page is also very helpful:
http://www.facesofloss.com/p/for-friendsfamily.html
www.mollybears.com - This site creates weighted bears for those who have lost children. I love my Charlotte bear and cuddle it often. The wait list is long, comfort won't be immediate, but the wait is worth it.
www.namesinthesand.blogspot.com - The wait list only pops up for twenty-four hours at a time so I recommend finding the facebook page as well (there is a link on this site) so you have a better chance of knowing when it opens up. Once you get on the list it doesn't take very long to have the name written as long as weather conditions are good. Be sure to check out the connected site www.thegriefeffect.blogspot.com too.
www.grieveoutloud.org - Another site with lots of helpful resources and links.
Books:
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken: Beautiful book, but she does talk about her second child.
They Were Stillborn: Personal Stories about Stillbirth by Janel C. Atlas: Just published in December. Haven't read it, but heard great things.
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken: Beautiful book, but she does talk about her second child.
They Were Stillborn: Personal Stories about Stillbirth by Janel C. Atlas: Just published in December. Haven't read it, but heard great things.
When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner: This book was recommended to me shortly after Charlotte died. I highly recommend it for religious and non-religious folk.
Blogroll:
Blogroll:
There are blogrolls on many of the sites listed above, but one of my favorites is over at The Stirrup Queen as it breaks everything down into categories:
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed
Postpartum Care:
As I mentioned above I feel like a lot of women navigate the first few weeks after their baby dies without help. Who wants to return to their OB's office for a check-up one, two, or six weeks after their baby dies? Earth Mama Angel Baby has a fabulous postpartum line for mamas who have lost babies (and they have no idea I am promoting it).
The boxes come with "heaven sent" stamped across them which can be a little annoying, but if you can get past the packaging the products are thoughtful and provide healing and comfort. If you don't know what to do for a mama who has lost a baby buy her the "Healing Heart Comfort Kit," add a box of sage tea, an Ace bandage or two for binding, a box of disposable nursing pads and leave it on her doorstep. It is heartbreaking to experience the physical discomfort that comes after birth without a little one to snuggle and a little kit like this can help a tiny bit.
If stopping the milk supply is not right for you let it dry up naturally, or donate to a milk bank. Below are three of the many options for milk donation.
http://www.hmbana.org/
http://www.helpinghandsbank.com/index.php
http://www.nationalmilkbank.org/
If stopping the milk supply is not right for you let it dry up naturally, or donate to a milk bank. Below are three of the many options for milk donation.
http://www.hmbana.org/
http://www.helpinghandsbank.com/index.php
http://www.nationalmilkbank.org/
I am sorry you find yourself here. Love, peace, and strength on the journey.
Man o man, I recently compiled the heck out of sites and stuff for my face 2 face Kansas City page. I was not aware of the earth mama / angel baby site and it is wonderful! I am in the habit of checking people's resources when I find a new blog just to see what I might of missed. Thank you for sharing mama! Thinking of you and Charlotte! All my love~
ReplyDeleteGreat list Angela, I wasn't aware of the earthmama kits either.
ReplyDeleteCan I just add one tiny thing? While many many bereaved mothers do want to dry up their milk, there are some (like me) who absolutely needed to see their milk and to make use of it. I personally would have been offended by the sage tea and bandages, and for me donating my milk was so very healing.
I hope you don't mind me mentioning it, I just thought maybe someone reading might like to know that either way is ok.
x
Thanks for sharing these! I recently emailed the social worker I saw at the hospital with a list of online resources I found soon after losing Jacob. I didn't know about the earthmamaangelbaby one and will email her with that one too.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jeanette! I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and thought, 'I didn't include milk donation!!' I know many who have found comfort in donating their milk. I was not happy about the suggestion, but I admire the women who donate their milk.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these, some I was not aware of.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Angela - thank you for putting it together.
ReplyDelete