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Showing posts from March, 2012

oh, saturday

Rain Orange Balloon Baking I reached a point this afternoon, a tipping point actually, wherein I decided to abandon all hope of a clean house and clothes and bake instead. It was the right decision. Blueberry muffins - egg free!  Never again will I beg J to run out for blueberry muffins on a Saturday morning.  These are SO good, and I know exactly what goes in them - pure goodness.  Used Our Life in the Kitchen recipe again, but substituted flax seed and water for eggs. Text messages from the grocery store: J: Two packs of bay leaves? Me: Two bay leaves, sorry. J: How do I buy just two leaves? Me: lol, buy one pack, sorry. Eating twelve blueberry muffins after B is in bed.  J doesn't like them, someone's gotta do it. Baby Kisses

* wish list *

A simple list 'cause that mega million jackpot every last person on twitter and facbook is jabbering about won't be ours. to be headache free a good northwest brewed wheat beer expensive chocolate sunshine a lake a chair  a good book. B has excellent taste in literature, but I like a bit more substance. What's your simple list?

hunger games!!

I should be sleeping, but I had  caffeine tonight so there's no hope of that happening anytime soon. Finally saw Hunger Games this evening.  It was SO good!  I've been waiting to see the movie for years.  I read the book way back when it was in advance copy form in 2008.  I brought it home from the bookstore, gave it to J, said, "not really my thing, but maybe you'll like it." He devoured it, then ordered me to read it.  I loved it.  After reading it I told J, "this is going to be huge." I think the book is better than the movie, of course.  The book has more background, more information about the political climate.  And the story, oh the story, it simply cannot translate to the big screen. However, the film rocked the whole conveying emotion thing.  I sobbed when Rue died, I'm sure you did too.  And when Katniss is waiting to go into the arena I was so scared and nervous I thought I was going to throw up. I loved it.  I want to see it

B & Avocado

B seemed to do fine with his first dose of avocado.  He was a bit uncertain, but didn't mind eating.  We decided to do purees for now, though baby led weaning may be in our future. Then he stopped sleeping.  And I need my sleep.  I am protective of my four hour stretches.  After four consecutive bad nights I didn't give him avocado for a day, just milk.  Guess what?  He slept fine. We're going to file this under not ready for solids .

baby proofing!

Dear me, I think it's time.  This morning I watched B roll from his back to his stomach, then to his back.  He readjusted, rolled up onto his side, got his knees and bum under him and began using his arms to pull himself forward. Shoot, that would look a lot like crawling if he pulled his head off the floor, I thought. Right now he just drops his head to either side, doesn't matter which one, and drags it along like some annoying heavy thing that has to come along but doesn't really help or hinder. We need to baby proof the house before he's mobile, and I have a feeling it's coming soon.  Though we're three months into teething with nary a tooth popped through so what do I know? My final year of college I was a nanny for a family with a two year old.  They had everything  baby proofed.  When they went out of town I house sat for them and discovered the baby proofing insanity touched every item in that house, including their shower.  It was locked.  Seri

on being a mama and how it's changed me

I have such a hard time getting myself to bed at a reasonable hour. Reasonable being 8:00 if I want to get enough sleep.  Realistic being 9:00. Reality being 10:00 or later. Once Bennett is down for the night my time begins and I love my time.  J does the pacifier fetching and soothing from 7:00 until bed, which means I have hours to myself.  We often spend some of this time together, but a chunk of it is spent on our separate computers on different levels of the house.  I love spending time with J, but I cherish my alone time too.  It's important to me and necessary for my mental well being. It's hard to go to sleep knowing Bennett will nurse between 9:30 and 10:30.  I hate sleeping for thirty minutes to an hour, I would rather stay up, nurse, and then sleep for four hours (if I'm lucky, which I haven't been for a few nights now). During the day I feel like I'm sneaking time.  When Bennett is napping I should be cleaning the house, preparing dinner, fold

to dream is to hope

I really like Twitter!  I don't fully understand it, but I've been having a lot of fun with it.  The other night I was on the couch in the living room, J was on the computer in his office.  (I should "show" you his office someday, it's in a closet, so when he is in his office he's only half in because he can't fit his entire self.) I yelled for him to come out to the living room.  He promptly popped his head around the door.  I smiled at him, "I'm tweeting!!" He stared at me, clearly not impressed. "This is fun, J!" He raised his eyebrows, went back to his office. I've been making a lot of changes in my life, some more important than joining Twitter (like praying a whole lot more) and I'm having a good time. I'm reaching out, connecting, joining, growing. I want to do what I love, have fun, and stretch myself. I want to achieve my dreams, even though the idea is daunting Here's four of my BIG dream

have faith

End of the day, nearly bed time, headache persisting, on day seven now. B is struggling to sleep.  He would not sleep unless held last night.  I clocked a record three hours of interrupted sleep on the couch with a burp cloth under my head and a baby in my arms. On my heart tonight: friendships and change, friendships and sustainability.  When do you say enough, it's not working?  When do you confess, apologize, ask for forgiveness? Feeling discouraged, weary, worn down.  Health problems stacked on top of health problems along with lack of sleep equals one tired mama. But there is hope in Matthew 11:28 and Deuteronomy 33:27. I want to live a life that counts. I want to remember what's important. I want to be honest. I want to grow and learn. Change and adapt. I want to be a better person. I have a lot of work to do.

novice in the garden

I'm embarrassingly bad at gardening.  My only excuse, I was raised as a city girl. Yesterday we began planting our food garden.  I had way too much fun digging in the dirt, dropping in seeds and potatoes.

egg free chocolate chip cookies

It seems our dear baby is allergic to eggs.  Since I cannot live without baked goods, J looked up egg substitutes.  The first one he landed on was ground or milled flax seed.  Thank goodness we're the type of people who have three pounds of milled flax seed in the cupboard.  I can make a whole lot of baked goods with those three pounds! This morning I tried my hand at baking without eggs.  It was a success ... almost. Baking is serious business in this house. At least two people are required.  This morning we had a chef - that's me - and a helper - that's B. Music is required too.  This morning we listened to our Chris Tomlin station on Pandora. Egg Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients 2 1/4 cups flour 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp salt (optional, never add it myself) 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened 3/4 cups sugar 3/4 cups brown sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract 2 eggs  2 Tbsp milled flaxseed + 6 Tbsp water (1 Tbsp flaxseed + 3 Tbsp wat

some things I love

This article from author Kristin Cashore on the Hunger Games trilogy.  The movie is out! and if anyone spoils any bit if it before I see it on the 29th I will cry.  Are you going to see it? Mikarose clothing line .  I cannot believe I just discovered this line.  I LOVE it! Their tag line is reinventing modesty  and the clothes are fabulous.  I do believe I need the Riley. Spending time with a friend who introduced me to new music.  I love this song. I nursed in public without a cover yesterday!  I'll probably never do it again, it's not a comfortable thing for me, but I can say I tried it. Bennett falling asleep in my arms after a tough morning.  I'm actually typing this one handed ... I'm on day five of a nasty headache and it's making me one grumpy mama.  I just feel like I'm failing him lately, like I'm not being the best mama I can be.  Ever had moments like that? And - I have a post up on Among the Circle today.

spring snow

It snowed buckets last night.  End of March, it's spring now, what?  I had somewhere to be this morning, so happy to wake up to melting snow and slushy streets. After the morning appointment my mom and I drove way out in the boondocks to check out a ranch for a family reunion in the future.  And by boondocks I mean true, in the sticks, miles on gravel road, horses, goats and cows, sweet river flowing by, boondocks. Here's the thing about Oregon though, even the boondocks aren't that far from civilization.  We were only thirty-five minutes from a city of roughly 32,000 people, even though it felt like we had disappeared off the map. And that's what I love about where I live: the ability to drive a short distance and be off the beaten path, away from the main and into the country.  Even though I am a city girl at heart, even though I need a Target nearby for grey days when my heart is sad, I love the country with its wide open skies and that feeling -


Three months was a big turning point for Bennett.  At three months the newborn is no more, there are longer awake periods, more smiles, some sounds, more baby. Six months is another turning point, it seems. Bennett doesn't mind hanging out on his own now - as long as someone is close.  I've tried putting him in his crib with toys for quiet time if he refuses to nap.  That doesn't work, he just screams, but if I'm in and out of the room, folding laundry, sweeping, dusting, within sight, or close enough to talk to him, he's fine with playing on the floor by himself for a good long while. I remember when he used to scream every time I left the room.  I thought it would last forever, thank goodness for carriers so I could have him with me always.  A few months later he is happy as can be sitting up and playing with his toys. Some days I don't know what to do with Bennett.  He loves sitting and playing, but sometimes I wonder if he gets bored, if he would like

pinterest success: things we've crafted

You all know I am terrible at crafts and projects.  J, however, rocks projects and DIY and home  improvements.  He can build most anything.  He would argue this point, but when I say I like something and he turns around and constructs the thing - sometimes without plans! - it leaves me impressed. Here is an example of recent projects we've tackled from Pinterest: J: laundry basket storage J actually found this on the site actual because he spends so much time there, but it's been floating around Pinterest.  J dismantled an old set of shelves to make ours. It needs painted, but is otherwise done.  He made this because he was tired of going to the basement to bring the laundry up only to find himself sans basket. Angela: plastic bag storage We don't have many plastic bags in the house, but the few floating around make me crazy.  I did this in about five minutes this morning.  Go me. Next on J's list: ruler growth chart for B's room This

new directions & growth

I spend a lot of time blogging.  A LOT.  I do my best to put family first, but that doesn't always happen.  Some evenings I have a hard time getting off the computer and hanging out with J.  Some days I feel a little frustrated when B wakes earlier than expected from his nap because I wasn't quite able to finish a post. I've spent a fair amount of time lately thinking things over, asking for advice, and figuring out how to proceed.  I want my blog to grow, I want to continue gaining readers, I want my blog to help me contribute to my family financially.  BUT!  I also want this blog to be a place for those who have lost babies and need support.  I think I've found a good balance so far, but I'm ready to shift things and push for a little more growth. Selling ad spots on my blog doesn't feel like the right direction for me.  You won't click over here one day to see huge ads, less real content, more content aimed at making money, or anything like that, but

when we were young

Oh my good gravy, look at these photos!  I found these beauties while searching out a different picture on my computer.  We were young then, and super skinny.  I think J weighed in at a whopping 120 lbs!!  Most of these are from our honeymoon in Lincoln City, Oregon.  It was June - cold, raining, misting, but we had one nice day!  This was back in our we have no money, but at least we have each other! days. My how we've changed!!