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Showing posts from July, 2014

now it's really personal

Let's file this one under 'stupid things I've done.' See also: the problem with transients continues. I've been sick with a cold all week. (The kids have it now too, yay!). Late Tuesday afternoon I was tired, sick, and ready for J to come home. Ainsleigh was crying in her crib because I set her down for a moment to check on Bennett who was yelling in the living room. When I walked into the living room I saw the transients that have been hanging around walking down the street. I tended to Bennett, went to check on Ainsleigh - who was still mad about having to take a nap - then went back to the living room. I looked out the front window and saw a man standing at the corner of our yard on the sidewalk. Then I saw a second man out the side window and nearly had a heart attack. Our trash cans (along with our next door neighbor's) are tucked between our house and the neighbor's. I didn't think anyone would have the nerve to walk up the path, past our

thank you ... woman! {update on the kids}

Bennett is in an intensely adorable phase of language development. Everything is "handsome" and "fancy" right now. As in, "check out my handsome dance!" Or, "that's a fancy shirt!" The day he stops calling helicopters "hopper coppers" I will cry. Bennett uses "cool" and "awesome" a lot too, only his "cool" comes out as "kewl." He's struggling with his double 'o words right now, but the result is really cute. We've been on the road a lot this summer. On one trip through the Burgerville drive-thru (what would we do without Burgerville?!) J placed our order to which the server said, "Your total is ----, thank you!" And then Bennett's little voice piped up from the backseat, "thank you! ........ woman!"  J and I laughed so hard at Bennett's attempt to be kind. This morning Bennett asked me if I like the color red. I said yes, then asked if he likes it.

now it feels personal

J's car window was smashed this weekend. Nothing was stolen - he hardly had anything inside - but the driver's side window was bashed in. It likely happened Saturday morning after we left for the day. I know we'll probably never know who did it, but I have a good idea. Our neighborhood has had a group of transients hanging around for the past month and a half.  We've had transients in the area before. They usually ask for cans, or look in the recycling bins along the curb on trash day, which doesn't bother me at all, but this group has been pushing boundaries for weeks. It's all men, up to six of them, and they walk around with golf clubs, PVC pipe and crowbars. They drink openly, trespass - even after they've been asked to stay out of driveways - and wander aimlessly around. I called the police a week and a half ago because they were trespassing on a neighbor's property. They walked waaaay up the driveway, past where I could see them, and didn

I want you here

I had to go to the dentist this morning for a small filling. It was by far the best dentist visit of my life. J recommended we switch to this dentist, and I am so glad he did. The filling was done with air abrasion, which doesn't require a shot, and because it was so small it only took five minutes. Five minutes! And I didn't feel a thing! Since my mom had the kids I decided to take a few moments after the appointment and go to Target and Old Navy (conveniently located across the street). Between Target and Old Navy was a small Christian bookstore. I wandered in to see if they had a worship CD for kids I've been looking for and ended up buying two albums. I really needed a little break. I always  need a little break. I feel bad admitting it, but taking care of two kids has me at capacity most days. I know moms with six who seem to have an easier time than me, but I'm really trying to stop comparing. SO - two kids + me = emotional capacity most days. Owning that tru

from scratch (help needed!)

Every time I crack open a jar of spaghetti sauce I think, I should really make this from scratch. " I've conquered a lot of items on my "I'll never be able to make this" list, but spaghetti sauce is really daunting for some reason. I make pizza sauce from scratch! Well, kind-of. I buy canned tomato sauce and paste, so I guess that doesn't really count. I have a lot of questions about making spaghetti sauce: What tomatoes are best? What else do you add? How long do you cook it? What's your process? How do you store it? Making spaghetti sauce is probably a task that requires a little trial and error. I need time to get in the kitchen and figure out what to do, but there isn't time for much of anything right now. I recently finished reading  Salt Sugar Fat  by Michael Moss, which made me feel like we need to cut back even more on processed foods (absolutely eating a bowl of ice cream while I type this ...). I remember our early marri

church with tiny ones

When someone says, "hey, I haven't seen you at church for a while!" my standard response is, "we've switched to the Saturday night service." But I think my response should be, "we've switched to the Saturday night service, however, you still might not see me. Try the cry room, or the nursing mothers room, or the bathroom next to the lobby with the changing table. I can often be found pacing the lobby too!" We missed three weeks of church so last Saturday we were determined to go. It's hard to go at night because 6:00 is Ainsleigh's usual bedtime, but I really like how small the group is, and how much time it opens up for us on Sunday. Bennett goes back and forth on going to class. Saturday night is hard because birth thru three is in one room. On Sundays there is a nursery, ones, twos, threes class etc. He doesn't know the teachers Saturday night, and there usually aren't kids he knows (all of his friends are older)


I was preparing dinner in the kitchen while Ainsleigh played in the dining room and Bennett ran around outside with J. Ainsleigh fussed so I stepped into the dining room and swung her up onto my hip. "What's the matter, baby girl? What you fussing for?" I asked as I walked back into the kitchen. As I calmed her down I leaned forward to grab something off the stove. I do this three thousand times a week, but this evening it all seemed strange to me. Strange as in - how did I end up here, with two kids? I'm 30 years old and we are settled . Really settled. Invested in our community, and the life we've built. J's job hasn't changed for years. We've lived in this house for a few years. We have friends, church, family, babies, and a great life. I still feel young. I still feel unsure and uncertain about a lot of things. Perhaps those feelings never go away. But I also feel like I have most things figured out. I was talking to my mom today

long summer days and parking tickets

Summer is my least favorite season. I don't like the heat. Our entire family doesn't like the heat. As J says, "we are heat intolerant." We just are. B's first summer he threw up because he overheated. The boys don't sweat much, which leads to upset stomachs and sometimes, vomiting. I just put a very sweaty headed Ainsleigh to bed, so I know she at least has the sweating thing figured out, but the heat makes her fussy. We've been staying home a lot because I don't like to venture out in hot weather, but B has been bouncing off the walls. This morning it was cool enough I suggested a long walk to the store to buy groceries. B agreed to the concept, but the way home was a little tough. We had to stop a few times for water and rest. Five minutes after we came home B transitioned from exhausted back to wild man mode and knocked over a container of arrowroot powder that was sitting on the coffee table. He had a bad reaction to coconut flour yeste

summer project: water table

When I brought up the idea of buying a water table guess what J said? J came up with ideas for the water table off a few different projects he found online, but the concept and design is all his. I cannot believe he can make something like this without a plan or blueprint. He said it doesn't look good, because he forgot the seal before putting down the epoxy so the blue ran a little, but the kids don't care about how it looks. J added these handles so the kids can easily turn features on and off. J made the water table self generating .. that's not the exact term I want, but J is passed out on the couch after a nasty encounter with a yellow jacket so it will have to do. When the table needs cleaned out every few days we'll use the water on our garden then fill it up again.

beautiful music

Last night at my in-laws we were listening to music while we ate dinner. Bennett was really into the music, so I ignored his feet kicked out to the side, body rocking pose, and let him enjoy it. I've been trying to instill table manners, but sometimes enjoying a moment is more important than sitting politely at the table. At the end of the song Bennett said, "That was a beautiful song. What was it about?" It was one of those moments where I saw how he might be as an adult. How he'll love music and art. How he'll appreciate small moments others don't see, or recognize as important. How he'll always be busy, but he will also always hold within himself an incredible ability to sit and focus - on a book, or a nice piece of music. Bennett's almost three and as he becomes less toddler and more kid my heart breaks open in new ways. For all the usual reasons and a few more besides.