Little Bird

B almost got hit by a car today. And I'm not talking about almost as in it was a bit close for my liking . I'm talking about almost as in I didn't think I was going to get there in time . The kids were playing outside when I heard a car start up a couple driveways down. B was on his trike riding, I yelled for him to come back when I heard the car start. He laughed and kept going. I screamed, "Bennett! Bennett!!!! STOP!! STOP NOW!" He kept going . I was walking to him as I was yelling, but I was walking slowly because I had left Ainsleigh sitting on the sidewalk. At this point I made the decision to leave Ainsleigh and run for Bennett. I felt like my heart was being torn in two. What if she crawls for the road? What will I do if I don't get to Bennett in time? I saw other neighbors around so I sent up a prayer that someone would grab Ainsleigh if they saw her crawl for the road. I had to get to Bennett. The neighbor's car is an SUV. He was UN

My parents are in Europe right now. This extended period of time without them is making me realize how much I need them, and how often my mama helps me with the kids. There are moments when thinking about cold fall mornings with my mama, a newborn baby, and hot chocolate almost makes me want another baby. Those were ideal (sleepy) times, friends. Now my kids are all over the place: My friends have been amazing these last few weeks. I have needed a lot of help with the kids and they've volunteered/offered/said yes to every request. It's nice to have mama friends my kids know well and are comfortable with. Last week a friend sat in the lobby at church for two hours with Ainsleigh so I could participate in the church membership class. This Sunday a friend watched both kids for a few hours so J and I could attend the final class/lunch. At the lunch event we had to share our testimonies. I was going to be calm. I had an idea of what I wanted to say. I felt really ready to

I was raised in a Christian home. I grew up in a Baptist church. In many ways my identity was wrapped around the church. My parents were very involved - they still are - and to this day I can walk in to that church and be recognized as "one of the G___ kids. My mom founded and directed the preschool program; my dad served as an elder; and my siblings and I went to youth group, church camp, mission trips, and anything else that was on offer. The summer between my junior and senior year of high school I served at the camp I had attended for years. It was a favorite summer. I still have great memories of that camp and the people I met there. I spent my first year of college at a state school. It was too much for me. I wasn't really prepared for LIFE at that level. It was a rough year. My parents encouraged me to transfer out. I didn't want to at the time, but I can look back now and see that getting out was necessary and best for me. I finished my degree at a Quaker un

J and I are in the process of becoming members at our church. We've been there FIVE plus years. It's definitely time. Part of the process is sharing a little bit of our testimony. For those who don't know what that means, it's just your story. How you came to believe. What shaped you as a believer. When you accepted Christ as your savior. Why you accepted Christ as your savior. There are four lines on our membership sheet to write out our testimony and a short time at a lunch gathering to share it. I need about two hours and sixteen sheets of paper to get mine out. I have been on a long journey to Jesus. I've shared bits and pieces of my testimony here. In some ways this blog is my testimony. If you go all the way back to the beginning you'll see me hanging out with God, but not really making him a part of my life. Then you'll see me struggling mightily with my faith. Then you'll see me start to figure bits and pieces out. Then you'll see me put

I am guilty of participating in social media because I want people to see me . I want people to see who I have become and what I've done with my life because validation matters to me. It doesn't matter to everyone, but I am a people pleaser and I want everyone to like me. The downside of wanting everyone to recognize me is feelings of worthlessness. I don't have ... I am not ... I haven't done ... I'll never be ... God says I am enough. Without Him I am nothing, but with him I am enough. John 15:5 - I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. And while I am worrying about how useless, and worthless I am, how I haven't done much of anything with my life, or how all I do with my days is wash dishes, clean the floors, and chase the kids, God is shaking his head and holding his arms open wide. He points out all of the good in me - daily, hourly even - but

I shared this paragraph on my personal facebook page this evening: I'm making my world here a little smaller. I want this to be a place where I interact with people I know well - in real life or online. If you follow me because you read my blog you can like my page -  Little Bird . Or you can find me on Instagram -@angelarodman. My phone is having problems so I'm going to factory reset it this evening, and I'm going to leave the Facebook app uninstalled when I (hop efully) get it going again. I'm tired of news stories that make me sad, and having constant access to a feed that doesn't always align with my beliefs isn't good for my soul (Proverbs 4:23 - "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.) I'm not saying we can't be friends because our beliefs are different, but there are things I need to shield myself from because they increase my anxiety. I need less negativity in my day to day life. (I am super lazy so if

My phone has been shutting off randomly, as well as refusing to do anything I ask of it, and restarting whenever it feels a breeze. It feels personal, but J thinks it's just the battery. I hope it's just the battery! We're (read J) in the middle of painting the South side of the house and I can't handle much beyond a simple battery problem right now. (Speaking of batteries, the smoke alarm upstairs sounded the replace the battery alarm at 4:30 am the other morning. Why in the world can't they program those things to do that in the daytime?! It always happens between 2 and 5 am.) (J put this battery saving app on my phone. It's just making me panic, you guys. I see the battery winding down - it's on all the time, I can't figure out how to make it go away - and it honestly makes me nervous. I'm hands on hips why is this thing going from 86 to 60 in two minutes?!  while B shoots me nervous glances and gives me lots of space.) We have rotting window