I felt so alone when Charlotte died. Finding websites, connecting with other mamas and realizing I wasn't the only lost one made those first few weeks - which are so awful as to be indescribable - bearable. I hope these resources help you, or someone you love, feel less alone and scared.
Websites:
www.glowinthewoods.com - Absolute lifeline for me in the beginning. I love this page for including information about how to dry up milk when it comes in. Postpartum care and resources for women who have lost babies is seriously lacking.
www.facesofloss.com - A place for people to share their stories. Searchable database, by state, by situation, etc. I've made many friends through this site and connected with others who had similar situations to mine.
Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope also has an incredible resource page, a forum, and local support groups. There are TONS of ways to memorialize your child and the list provided is extensive:
The family and friends page is also very helpful:
www.mollybears.com - This site creates weighted bears for those who have lost children. I love my Charlotte bear and cuddle it often. The wait list is long, comfort won't be immediate, but the wait is worth it.
www.namesinthesand.blogspot.com - The wait list only pops up for twenty-four hours at a time so I recommend finding the facebook page as well (there is a link on this site) so you have a better chance of knowing when it opens up. Once you get on the list it doesn't take very long to have the name written as long as weather conditions are good. Be sure to check out the connected site www.thegriefeffect.blogspot.com too.
www.grieveoutloud.org - Another site with lots of helpful resources and links.
Books:
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken: Beautiful book, but she does talk about her second child.
They Were Stillborn: Personal Stories about Stillbirth by Janel C. Atlas: Just published in December. Haven't read it, but heard great things.
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken: Beautiful book, but she does talk about her second child.
They Were Stillborn: Personal Stories about Stillbirth by Janel C. Atlas: Just published in December. Haven't read it, but heard great things.
When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner: This book was recommended to me shortly after Charlotte died. I highly recommend it for religious and non-religious folk.
Blogroll:
Blogroll:
There are blogrolls on many of the sites listed above, but one of my favorites is over at The Stirrup Queen as it breaks everything down into categories:
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed
Postpartum Care:
As I mentioned above I feel like a lot of women navigate the first few weeks after their baby dies without help. Who wants to return to their OB's office for a check-up one, two, or six weeks after their baby dies? Earth Mama Angel Baby has a fabulous postpartum line for mamas who have lost babies (and they have no idea I am promoting it).
The boxes come with "heaven sent" stamped across them which can be difficult for some, but if you can get past the packaging the products are thoughtful and provide healing and comfort. If you don't know what to do for a mama who has lost a baby buy her the "Healing Heart Comfort Kit," add a box of sage tea, an Ace bandage or two for binding, a box of disposable nursing pads and leave it on her doorstep. It is heartbreaking to experience the physical discomfort that comes after birth without a little one to snuggle and a little kit like this can help a tiny bit.
If stopping the milk supply is not right for you, let it dry up naturally, or donate to a milk bank. Below are three of the many options for milk donation.
If stopping the milk supply is not right for you, let it dry up naturally, or donate to a milk bank. Below are three of the many options for milk donation.
I am sorry you find yourself here. Love, peace, and strength on the journey.